Day Without A Gay A Blessing for the Straight

I thought Thanksgiving was a couple weeks ago but man was I horribly wrong. Tomorrow, as you may or may not have heard, is Day Without a Gay. It is a chance for the gays of the world to unite and show us what they really mean to our society. It is also a day for the rest of us to give thanks to a world a little less politically correct and one that, for a day, can be a little more appreciative of good ole' fashioned homophobic slurs.

I find this day amusing because an entire class of people, a gigantic subset of our society, plan to stick to the man for what they perceive to be a great injustice in the state of California. I'm not sure what one's state voting decision has to do with the citizens of the 49 others but I admire the resolve. I do, however, seriously question how well this was thought through. As part of their plan, gay Americans will ditch work and school, they will keep their wallets in their pockets and boycott our food, liquor and oxygen. The goal is to drain as much from our economy as possible so we realize just how important each and every one of them are.

To my understanding, this would preclude them from life's basic necessities such as driving cars (gas) or using computers (electricity, ad revenue). Therefore, there will not be big rallies unless everyone shows up on bikes. In my mind, I picture all of them holed up in their residences for a full 24 hours.

Now I don't know about you but all I can picture are the 50 million benefits the rest of us will reap. Traffic will decrease shortening our commutes. Energy consumption will decrease lowering our dependence on foreign oil and diminishing our carbon footprint. Lines at every conceivable place of business will be smaller meaning shorter waits for coffee, groceries, dry cleaning or dinner. This list goes on and on, I could do this for days. To sum it all up in the best way possible - gays can boycott life and the rest of us can be more productive.

I highly doubt this was their intent which is why I question their methods. But I am just one man and I'll be damned if I'm going to get in their way. Fuck, why stop with a day? Why not make it week or month without a gay? Obama wants to break our oil addiction by 2020, I think we could kick this habit by the time his first term is up.

Look, I have no problem with gays fighting for their rights. I have no problem with gays in general. I fully support them in their quest to the rights and benefits the rest of us enjoy. I just think they might be going about this the wrong way. Either way, best of luck them and happy gay day to the rest of you. Enjoy the short commute, the quick coffee and the occasional gay joke you can tell without fear of repercussion.