Why Not?

Why not see what would incite rage in me?

Cubs Fan Fail - watch more funny videos

Why Not?

Why not learn how to find out if your beer is warm?

Whores light Cold Can - watch more funny videos

Why Not?

Why not watch these guys slingshot beers into the woods, until something awesome happens?

The World's Strongest Beers

Here are the 4 strongest beers in the world according to FoxNews.com...

Dogfish Head Brewery Olde School: A barley wine style ale, which has only a mild hops bitterness with fruit dominating the flavors, this 15 percent ABV ale is an excellent introduction to the breed. A pale glowing orange in color, it's rich and heavy with just a touch of bitterness and huge berry flavors. So much so that it's better drank from a snifter than a bottle. It's the root beer of beers, with sugar and fruits wafting out of the glass, and a strange medicinal aftertaste that makes it an acquired taste for many.

Avery Mephistopheles Stout: As black-hearted as its namesake, this 15.1 percent ABV stout pours a deep coal-black and offers a creamy mocha head which disappears quickly due to weak carbonation. The tastiest beer in this lineup, a chewy mouthful reeks of toffee, molasses, and a tinge of vanilla ringed with burnt coffee and the sweet heat of the alcohol. Like most stouts, it's a meal in a glass.

Mikkeler Black: The brewery recommends aging this huge stout for a few years to take the edge off, and it's not a bad idea. Weighing in at 17.5 percent ABV, there's virtually no carbonation to lighten the creamy texture brought on by the champagne yeast used in the brewing process. Charred malt, chocolate and coffee dominate every sip, but there's nuance here too – the toffee and cherry flavors surprisingly not burned away by the high alcohol content. It’s perfect for sipping a pint slowly over the course of a very long night, but don't blame anyone but yourself for what gets posted on Facebook if any more than that is consumed.

BrewDog Tactical Nuclear Penguin: Bizarrely named, this Imperial Stout from Scotland was, for a short time in 2009, the strongest beer ever brewed, and was only recently dethroned by Schorschbrau, a German brewery that has unleashed a 40 percent ABV beer on the world. But at 32 percent ABV, Tactical Nuclear Penguin is one heck of an accomplishment. The brewery claims it's a beer for the dedicated, and they're so very right. A deep chocolate brown in the whiskey tumbler that should be its home, the light carbonation doesn't hide the smoke, tobacco, nutty malt and cola flavors that rule this beer. The heat of the alcohol masks a bit of toffee and chocolate as well. But make no mistake, the thick, almost viscous liquid is brutal in its approach. This nuke takes no prisoners and should be enjoyed sparingly. It's still technically beer, but in the same way that Heidi Montag is still technically a human.

I just had the Sam Adams Utopia beer not to long ago, and let me tell you that shit till fuck you up. Only problem is it costs like $300 a bottle, and is really hard to get your hands on.

Drunkest Guy Ever Goes For More Beer

How To Open A Beer

The Moose Open

Well DP and I headed over to DP's father's place this weekend for the "Moose Open". Basically he had a 6 hole pitch and putt course in his backyard. In the end nor DP or I won the Championship, but who needs to when you crack a bunch of beers and play golf in the rain???

How to Ruin A Game

Finally....The Weekend

WTF?!

Peep the latest picture of K-Fed hitting the links ... haha, karma's a bitch!

Why Not?

Why not try and rob a convenience store with an 18 pack of bud light over your head?

Why Not?

Why not watch Beer bottle dominoes? I'm actually pretty impressed ...

Why Not?

Why not watch gramdma do a keg stand?

Great Beer Ad

Click on pics to enlarge....


-BMack

Kids On Beer

Too good not to put up....

A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of beer'. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.'--Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. '--Mellanie, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny.'--Grady, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.'--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.'--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'--Ethan, 7 years old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'--Shirley, 7 years old

AND THE BEST RESPONSE

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on My father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense.'--Jack, 7 years

-BMack

Pete Coors - Making August Busch IV Look Like a Mensa Candidate

What is with these guys? Of all the liquor purveyors in this country, Coors is the only one that should have stayed under after the repeal of prohibition. They have not done a God Damn thing right since. The product is shit (I know, man landed on the moon), their advertising makes the folks at Geico look smart and the gimmicks are not clever enough to trick a Saint Bernard.

I remember when I tasted my first Coors Light. I was 15 and it was free. And warm. And skunked. I loved it, but really, my only basis for comparison was some cheap whiskey I stole from the parents wet bar. Time passed, I realized that Bud Light was much more fashionable and I felt way less gay asking the bums outside the liquor store to buy it for me. Then a funny thing happened. I was 22 and the store near my house was out of BL's. I said fuck it, Coors can't be that bad, picked up a 12 pack and tapped the Rockies. Guess what? It tasted EXACTLY like it did the first time I had it 7 years prior (warm and skunked).

As far as their marketing campaigns go - I'll leave it to Drew Magory of Kissing Suzy Kolber to summarize those efforts:

It's a beer ad. It's not fucking hard. Start with a monkey. Then show some tits. Then make a dick joke. Then cut to product. See? Gold. Yet these guys constantly fuck it up. Coors Light's motto is "The coldest beer in the world!" Do they understand the logic flaw in that selling point? Oooh, it's so cold, we can only measure it in Kelvin! Morons. You know what the coldest beer in the world is? ANY OF THEM. I had a Coors Light once that had been sitting in the car for an hour in late August. It was anything but cold. So fuck you, Pete Coors. Fuck your advertising, and fuck your cheap, shitty beer. Fuck.

All of this is well and good but certainly not worth an entire post. That is where the new gimmicks come in and push me right over the top. First we had the mountains changing colors once the bottles were sufficiently cool (blue like your eyes). That was pretty fucking stupid. I've held enough cold objects in my day and I am pretty confident I don't need some paper label to tell me when my beer is ok to drink.

Currently, we are in the middle of the newest cluster fuck of a promotion - vented wide mouth cans. That's right, if the wide mouth alone isn't enough to rush their shitty swill to your liver, now there is a quarter inch vent along side to quicken up the pace. To set the record straight, I was never really on board with the wide mouth thing in the first place. It is not like drinking liquid from a can was ever all that challenging. I'm pretty sure it was something that Terry Schiavo could have managed on a bad day. Plus, worst case scenario, can't you just pour it into a glass? Now we get a vented wide mouth? Pretty sad. Its readily apparent that the brain trust running this shit show has never heard of shotgunning.

You want to impress me Coors, find a way to put a tab on the side of the can along with the one up top. That way, I won't always have to carry keys with me and I won't have to worry about hacking up my fingers and gums on all the shrapnel.

Bud Back on Top

Prior to last summer, Miller came out with a new beer called the Miller Chill. It was your standard American light beer infused with lime and salt. A lot of people saw it and instantly thought it was a Corona ripoff. Before making my own snap judgment, I researched it and discovered it was nothing like Corona at all. It was actually good. Really good.

Fast forward to Labor Day and I'm a good 130 of these things deep for the summer (you can really only drink about 6 in a sitting before they wear on you). Summer was over but I was pumped. I finally found a summer beer worth getting excited over to replace Sam's Summer. I love me a Sam's Summer as much as the next guy but seriously, I've been drinking them every Memorial Day like clock work since I was 18.

With the Miller Chill's, there was really only one problem. It was a Miller. I loathe Miller anything. In life, we are forced to pick sides on a lot of issues. Nobody likes a fence sitter, they are homos. Bud Light/Miller Light is one of those sides you are forced to choose. Kind of like Coke/Pepsi, Duke/UNC or Tits/Cock. (As an aside, your choice on one generally impacts your choice on many others. For instance, those who choose the Miller Lights are way more prone to liking UNC and Cock. Crazy how it works out.) Back to the subject at hand, I am a Bud Light guy. Having to start my Saturday's off with a six pack of Miller product was not easy.

As the summer of 2008 gets closer, Anheuser Busch solved my dilemma by announcing Bud Light Lime. I saw the first commercials during the Final Four games and had the Tar Heels not been fucking me out of another 100 bucks, I would have popped wood right there in the bar. Now, summer can't get here soon enough so I can try one of these suckers.

Oh and if you're one of those purists who doesn't believe in fruit & beer combinations, eat a dick. It is a personal preference and one that I am perfectly ok with.