Let's Get Bedarded in Here

How long before we start seeing "Can't Spell Erik Without a 'K'" T-shirts?

After the Rich Harden deal fell apart due to concerns over his health, the Sox went after another Canadian born pitcher. As part of a three team deal, they acquired Erik Bedard. They dealt C Tim Federowicz, RHP Juan Rodriguez and RHP Stephen Fife to the Dodgers in exchange for minor leaguers OF Trayvon Robinson and OF Chih-Hsien Chiang. The Sox then sent Robinson and Chiang to Seattle for Bedard. Righty Josh Fields was packaged along with Bedard.

Fields was drafted by Seattle with the 20th overall pick of the 2008 draft. He's a 25 year old reliever just promoted from AA to AAA Tacoma.

Bedard is obviously the main event of the deal. The Sox need pitching to fill out their rotation. Buchholz was just placed on the 60 Day DL and his recovery has hit some roadblocks.

Bedard's been plagued by injury problems the past few years. He hasn't tossed a full season of work since 2007. He hasn't even thrown 100+ innings since 2007. He missed the entire 2010 season. And he was sidelines for a month with a sprained left knee. He made his return to Seattle's rotation Friday night, struggling through 1.1 innings and allowing 5 runs.

However, when healthy, he is a legitimate frontline starter. On the season, he has a 4-7 record (remember, this is Seattle, who have saddled Felix Hernandez with a 9-9 record) and a 3.45 ERA. But those numbers don't tell the whole story. He struggled in April, starting the season 0-4 with a 7.71 ERA. Since April 27th, he's gone 4-3 with a 2.34 ERA. That ERA includes his 1.1 inning, 5 run debacle on Friday.

Nine of his last 11 starts have been Quality Starts.

This is a good move. Bedard may end of on the DL by early September, but if he doesn't... Well, he's not just an upgrade over Andrew Miller. He solidifies the top of the Red Sox rotation.

His first start is slated to be Friday night against the Yankees. Welcome to Boston, Mr. Bedard.

-The Commodore

Captain's Thoughts on Patriots' Moves

It was an interesting day for Pats fans. Albert Haynesworth in the morning, Chad Ochocinco in the evening. It's one of the most intriguing day in Patriot maneuvers since Randy Moss was traded. And the phrase to repeat over and over is "low risk, high reward."

And there is a high reward. Haynesworth was an All-Pro twice, Ochocinco received that honor 4 times. These are two extremely talented players. One has numerous on the field and off the field problems. The other was stuck in Cincinnati, where they find ways to lose even when talent falls into their laps (see: allowing Palmer to retire), and is perhaps in the twilight of his career.

Albert Haynesworth is a lazy scumbag. There, I said it. He's got a bit less than Randy Moss potential, and puts in even less effort than Moss did with Oakland. Now, if he tries, he can help the Patriots. If he tries, he'll at least be a second DT, to give relief for Wilfork, and sometimes play in a 4-3. And the Pats play more 4-3 than most people realize.

If Haynesworth tries, and still has "it," then things get fun. Wilfork can shift to DE in a 3-4, where he played a significant amount of time last year, and be free to rush upfield, using his power, and surprising speed. A line of Wilfork, Haynesworth, and Warren would present some difficult conundrums for opposing offensive lines. And that would also help out the LBs.

If Haynesworth doesn't try, the Patriots lose a 5th round pick. Would you draft a defensive lineman with his upside, but with his baggage, with a 5th round pick? I would.

Then there's Ochocino, whose problems are not effort related. This is a guy with seven 1,000 yard seasons under his belt. Thought he can't do the deep thing anymore. But the Patriots are ingenious in implementing matchups to allow guys like him to get open, and get the ball. He's not Randy Moss. His longest reception last year went for 42 yards. But he can still produce.

Ochocinco gets a slightly unfair reputation because he tweets and talks. But his effort and dedication have never been in doubt. We all thought it was silly when he kicked PATs for the Bengals in a preseason game against the Pats. But he nailed the kicks, which demonstrates that he'd been practicing them. He was the Bengals' emergency kicker because he put in that little bit of extra effort, not as part of some joke or stunt.

Ochocinco might have to cool down the tweets, or at least edit them. But he already has a tremendous rapport with Belichick. I think Ochocinco will slot in nicely with the Pats, and find himself in a Deion Branch kind of role.

One thing's for certain, and that is uncertainty. Will Haynesworth try? Will Ochocinco give bland press conferences? Suddenly, training camp and preseason games have become more interesting. And that's good. These guys CAN help. I'm pretty sure Ochocinco will help. I have no idea if Haynesworth will.

All I know for certain right now is that perennial Belichick doubter/hater Ron Borges has his doubts, which is typically a good sign.

-The Commodore

White Men Can Jump

So long as their Australian.

And if you've never seen a game of Aussie Rules Football, you're missing out. Just look at that score. This was a 140-77 game. You won't know what's going on when you watch it, but that just makes it all the more entertaining. It's a great sport to watch while getting hammered.

-The Commodore

McDonalds to Change Happy Meals

McDonald's has announced that by 2012, all of its restaurants will be serving a new kind of happy meal. Instead of French fries, all happy meals will come with apple slices. This is in an effort to provide healthier meals, and to change their image. Currently, apple slices are an option for happy meals, but only 11% of people make that selection.

This is just another example of people not being able to control themselves. People blame McDonald's for making their kids fat. They don't blame themselves for taking their children there three times a week and letting them sit on their asses all day playing video games.

McDonald's food isn't healthy. But it's tasty. And if consumed only occasionally, it won't result in obesity. But we live in a society obsessed with not taking responsibility for itself and its own actions. I'm a chubby guy myself, but I don't blame Ronald McDonald, the Burger King, or Wendy for my surplus mass. We live in a free country (at least we used to), and part of having the freedom to make decisions is having the responsibility of living with them.

Apple slices don't go with hamburgers anyway. And neither does milk.

-The Commodore

Mike Vick Gets It

He may or may not feel remorse for what he did. He may or may not feel as though what he did was wrong. But Michael Vick is at least smart enough to realize that almost everyone else thinks what he did was wrong. And since being released from prison, he's done everything right.

Not only has he entertained us on the field, but now he's gone to Washington to lobby Congress in support of anti-dogfighting legislation. Specifically, the law he's supporting would make it a crime to knowingly attend a dogfight, and additionally penalize anyone who brings a minor to such an event.

Vick is doing this in conjunction with the Humane Society of the United States.

Especially compared to other athletes that screw up, Vick has brilliantly rebuilt his reputation and his life. He's even been re-signed by Nike. His endorsements are back, and people are once again viewing him as a football player and not a dog abuser.

And while I still wouldn't let him walk my dog, at least he's doing the positive things and apparently supporting a good cause. Could you imagine Kobe Bryant or Ben Roethlisberger supporting a feminist group? How about Plaxico Burress speaking at a MADD function? Or how about Roger Clemens appearing on Sesame Street and telling kids how important it is to tell the truth?

I don't think so.

College Hockey Teams Playing Musical Chairs

The shape of college hockey will be changing in 2013. Right now, there are four power conferences: The Western Collegiate Hockey Association (WCHA), Central Collegiate Hockey Association (CCHA), ECAC, and Hockey East. But that's all changing this summer. Two new conferences have emerged out west and they've raided the top teams from the WCHA and CCHA.

The Big Ten is coming to college hockey. Five Big Ten members already field Division 1 programs, with Penn State joining them in 2012. And in 2013, the Big Ten will appropriate (take) two teams from WCHA: Minnesota and Wisconsin. They'll absorb three teams from CCHA: Ohio State, Michigan, and Michigan State. These teams are some of the best from the WCHA and CCHA.

Not only has the Big Ten plundered those two conferences, six teams (5 from the WCHA and 1 from the CCHA) have decided to form a new power conference: The National Collegiate Hockey Conference (NCHC). 2011 National Champs Minnesota-Duluth will join perennial powerhouse North Dakota, along with Denver, Colorado College, and Nebraska-Omaha. CCHA will "donate" Miami (OH) to the new conference. These were the best 6 teams remaining in the WCHA and CCHA after the Big Ten defections.

Notre Dame's fate still remains up in the air. The NCHC has been courting them, and it would make sense geographically for them to join. And considering that the CCHA is now a shell of what it once was, Notre Dame almost must move in order to maintain its program's prominence.

Another possibility for the Irish is to join Hockey East. The ECAC and Hockey East have remained untouched by this drama. But Hockey East would probably love to add a national program on Notre Dame's level. Geography is a bit of a problem, but the idea of Notre Dame vs. BC bringing their rivalry to the ice is very appealing.

Notre Dame has a national fanbase. Their hockey program is on the rise. Wherever they wind up, whether it's the NCHC or Hockey East, they're going to welcomed with open arms.

What I like about all this shuffling and maneuvering is that the power conferences have gotten smaller, but more powerful. Big Ten Hockey's members have combined to win 23 NCAA titles. The NCHC's members have won 17. Compare that to Hockey East's 11, the ECAC's 5, the WCHA's 4, and the CCHA's 4.

I wouldn't be shocked if, within a few years, some realignment occurs here in the northeast. As the struggle for TV money increases, especially with these two new conferences in play, power programs like BU and BC might seek to separate themselves from the UMass-Lowell's of the world, and perhaps align with other power programs from the ECAC like Cornell.

This is just speculation, but one day Hockey East might look like this: BC, BU, Northeastern, Notre Dame, Maine, UNH, Cornell, and Yale.

And I think while this is bad news for about half of the programs in college hockey, it's also beneficial for the game as a whole. Schools with national fanbases like Notre Dame, Michigan, and Ohio State can help bring new fans to the game. But they're going to do that by playing other top tier programs and rivals, not by playing Lake Superior State.

College hockey also needs large schools to put money into their programs. UConn, for instance, has a D-1 program, but they don't reward the full number of scholarships that they could. Syracuse only has a club level program, which is odd considering there are 10 Division 1 programs in New York. If Colgate, Clarkson, Union and RPI can field D-1 teams, why not Syracuse? Colorado, Northwestern, and Pittsburgh are all in regions where hockey is widely played. Yet Colorado is in D-3 and Northwestern and Pitt field only club teams.

College hockey is always going to be a regional thing, but like all other college sports, the powerhouses are what draw fans to the game, they're the ones that draw TV money and media attention. And unlike other sports, these conferences only exist in just one sport: hockey. It's not like the ACC, which has its football powers and its basketball powers, and they're all able to support each other. I want to see conferences that are ridiculously good from top to bottom. That makes the regular season interesting, as opposed to the 22 week warm-up to the NCAA Tournament that it currently is.

-The Commodore

Baby Ortiz

On Friday night, David Ortiz found himself in the middle of a beanball battle, and I'm sorry, but he was the baby of the group. All laundry aside, he charged the mound because someone told him to run to first base instead of jog casually to his dugout. Really? That reminds me of Gerald Williams in 2000, charging the mound because Pedro spat in his general direction. Is that all it takes for these overly sensitive prima donna hitters to make a move toward the pitcher?

Know what, Ortiz got thrown at. Belt high. And he threw a hissy fit. As so many hitters have thrown so many times the last decade and a half. It's become an insult if a pitcher dares try to reclaim the inside of the plate, especially against a hulking lefty.

Sorry folks, but Gregg went about things the right way. He aimed for Ortiz's fleshy middle section, missed, and then got the stare down. Then it happened again. Ortiz's temper tantrum over inside pitching is just the latest example of hitters acting like spoiled babies who think the entire plate belongs to them.

And as far as the Red Sox go, I want Ortiz leaning over the plate. He's a better hitter when he takes control over that territory. But I'm not going to defend him when he acts like a baby because someone pitched inside to him. Especially not when it's all well below the skull. And I'm not going to praise his pugilistic prowess because he threw a mighty hook/uppercut that completely missed (because he was off-balance. Mick from Rocky would have tied a rope between his ankles).

Ortiz fights about as well as he fields. The Orioles actually pitched him inside. Something the Yankees have never had the stones to do. And I'm not going to criticize another team for following the basic fundamental principles of pitching. I also think Ortiz charging the mound for something as trivial as Gregg's gestures is beyond childish. Ortiz threw a temper tantrum, we here in Boston are praising him for it, but I think he acted like a spoiled baby.

-The Commodore

Do You Remember the 90's?

The 2000s have undoubtedly been the best decade in Boston sports history, maybe even the best decade for sports in any city. But do you remember the 1990s? That was, without any question, the worst decade for Boston sports. It was the only decade in the 20th century that a Boston team didn't claim a title. That span saw a football team nearly move to St. Louis, a Red Sox team dominated by their archrivals, and the two winter sports clubs becoming jokes.

The biggest moments for a Boston sports fan in the 90's look pretty lame now: Raymond Bourque hoisting the Cup in the red, white, and blue of the Avalanche. The Red Sox winning one playoff series against the Indians. A Super Bowl appearance dominated by a kick returner. Of all four teams, the Bruins had the best decade. That alone speaks volumes.

I'm only 26, but I did survive the 90's as a Boston fan. We haven't known only success here. We suffered too. And that just makes basking in this glorious time so much more enjoyable. And to fans from other cities (Philadelphia, I'm looking in your direction) who envy our success and think we're spoiled, all I can say is that we went through some tough times before this run, so we're going to enjoy it, bitches.

Let's just compare the 1990s to the 2000s team-by-team, and in four important categories: championships, championship appearances, playoff appearances, and playoff rounds won.

CHAMPIONSHIPS:

	1990s	2000s
Red Sox	0	2
Patriots	0	3
Celtics	0	1
Bruins	0	1
TOTAL:	0	7

CHAMPIONSHIP APPEARANCES:

	1990s	2000s
Red Sox	0	2
Patriots	1	4
Celtics	0	2
Bruins	1	1
TOTAL:	2	9

PLAYOFF APPEARANCES:

	1990s	2000s
Red Sox	4	6
Patriots	4	8
Celtics	5	8
Bruins	9	7
TOTAL:	22	29

PLAYOFF ROUNDS WON:

	1990s	2000s
Red Sox	1	8
Patriots	3	14
Celtics	2	12
Bruins	9	6
TOTAL:	15	40

Apart from the 7-0 disparity in titles, the most striking difference is the 40 playoff rounds won in the 2000s, compared to the 15 in the 90's. Boston teams did contend for playoff spots in the 90's, as demonstrated by their 22 appearances. But they didn't have enough to capture that postseason magic. Pedro didn't have Schilling, Pierce didn't have KG or Ray Allen. The Bruins didn't have Timmy Thomas.

Just compare the names from the 90's sports scene to the names from today. Pete Carroll vs. Bill Belichick. Rick Pitino vs. Doc Rivers. Mark Portugal vs. Jon Lester. Troy O'Leary vs. Manny Ramirez. Drew Bledsoe vs. Tom Brady.

And then there's the owners and GMs. Kraft takes over the Patriots, hires Pioli, three rings. The Yawkey trust sells the Sox, Epstein gets hired, curse over. Wyc Grousbeck and associates buy the Celtics and bring banners back to the Garden. Jeremy Jacobs still owns the Bruins, but they started spending just before the lockout. Then they hired Chiarelli in 2006.

So people who hate us obnoxious, arrogant, "entitled" Boston fans can go fuck themselves. We put up with Desmond Howard, with the Yankees winning 4 World Series in 5 years, with the choking Bruins, and what we all thought was the end of the Celtics' dynasty. We had to listen to Pete Carroll talk about "having fun" and Rick Pitino rant about the "negativity in this town." We had to endure Jimy Williams' nonsensical lineups. We had to watch an endless parade of mediocre athletes don our teams' uniforms then disappear into obscurity: Jose Offerman, Dino Radja, Jim Carey, Sedrick Shaw, I could go on forever.

We've earned the right to be happy, and to rub it in your faces.

-The Commodore

Montreal Cops to Interrogate Chara

The Montreal Police plan to interview Zdeno Chara regarding his hit of Max Pacioretty on March 8th. This will be part of their ongoing investigation into the incident. This interview has been delayed due to Chara's involvement in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, along with other "witnesses."

The involvement of police in this incident is one of the silliest sports stories of the year. While the circumstances around Pacioretty's injuries were unique, other big hits in the game weren't investigated by law enforcement officials. And there's a longstanding precedent in the sporting world, that what happens between the lines (or on the field, or within the boards) is governed differently. Fighting in hockey, for instance, doesn't result in arrests for disorderly conduct or assault.

It's a joke. And Canada is getting a reputation for whining and sour grapes. I love how passionate they are for the game, I was happy to see Winnipeg get a team, but look at the temper tantrum that Vancouver threw (again) after losing Game 7. And the uproar in Montreal after this hit. This Canadian crybabyism is preposterous.

I seriously doubt that Chara will be punished in any way. But just the fact that Montreal cops are spending their time looking into this is a massive joke.

-The Commodore

Bruins' Schedule Released

The Bruins begin their defense of the Stanley Cup (God that felt good to write) on October 6th at home. They'll get to raise the banner (another orgasmic phrase to type out) as they host the Philadelphia Flyers. On October 8th, they'll play a rematch of the Eastern Conference Championship against the Lightning, also at home.

The big date that stands out is January 7th, when the Canucks come to town. The Bruins will not travel to Vancouver.

Canadien games:
Thursday 10/27 in Boston
Saturday 10/29 in Montreal
Monday 11/21 in Montreal
Monday 12/19 in Boston
Thursday 1/12 in Boston
Wednesday 2/15 in Montreal

The Detroit Red Wings come to town on November 25th in the Black Friday matinee.

The Bruins will host the Flyers on St. Patrick's Day (Saturday March 17) in what will probably be the drunkest game of the year, despite the 1:00pm start time.

The Bruins make their first trip to Winnipeg on Tuesday December 6th.

Phil Kessel and the Maple Leafs will come to town on October 20th, December 3rd, and March 19th.

The regular season will end Saturday April 7th when the B's host the Sabres.

-The Commodore

I Hate NL Baseball

Interleague play time. Which means pitchers hitting. Maybe it's because I've grown up in an AL town, but I really can't stand watching pitchers hit. I like watching Major League Baseball to see the best ballplayers do what they do best. I want to see the best hitters hit, and the best pitchers pitch. I don't want to see hitters pitching so why would I want to see pitchers hit?

I don't get why the NL doesn't catch up to the AL and implement a DH. I don't get people who defend pitchers hitting. Sure DHs can be fat, lethargic, and even unathletic. But is watching them hit a single less entertaining than watching a pitcher whiff on an 88 MPH fastball?

What's the appeal of pitchers hitting? Strategy? If I wanted to see strategy, I'd watch a Risk tournament.

And what's wrong with adding more offense? Is the biggest part of All-Star weekend the Bunt Derby or the Home Run Derby?

And what about investing millions of dollars in a pitcher, then risking their arms at the plate and their legs on the basepaths.

Pitchers hitting is antiquated and boring. Other sports have special sets of rules for special positions. In hockey, for instance, if a goalie commits a penalty, he DOESN'T go to the penalty box. Someone goes in his place.

It's just stupid to have two sets of rules for two halves of baseball. It's stupid to have guys who are paid to pitch, train to pitch, and spend their entire lives pitching to have to stand up at the plate and bad .115.

-The Commodore

Flyers Trade Carter and Richards, Acquire Bryzgalov

In a stunning move, the Philadlephia Flyers traded centers Jeff Carter and Mike Richards, then signed goalie Ilya Bryzgalov. Carter went to Columbus for the 8th overall pick in tonight's draft, as well as a 3rd round selection, and 21 year old winger Jakub Voracek. Richards was sent to the Kings for a pair of young forwards and an undisclosed draft pick.

The Flyers then signed Russian goalie Bryzgalov to a 9 year, $51 million deal. The Flyers were 11th in goals allowed last year, and used three different goalies in the playoffs, never being able to settle on a true #1. Bryzgalov is a solid, 31 year old goalie and answers Philadelphia's biggest question going into the 2011-12 season.

But I think the size of the deal is a bit much for just a solid goalie like Bryzgalov. He's capable of brilliance, he recorded 7 shutouts this year. And he doesn't have Luongonian style meltdowns. But he's just not that great. Not for a $51 million commitment, at least.

The Flyers need a goalie, so I understand. It is funny, though. After last season, everyone thought that goaltending was an overrated commodity. The Cup winning goalie - Antti Niemi - got a 4 year, $15.2 million deal after the Blackhawks won it all last year. People thought that so long as your goalie wasn't a liability, and stopped the standard shots, then it didn't matter who he was. How things change.

I wonder if Tim Thomas will get a commission from Bryzgalov's deal.

-The Commodore

The NBA...

-The Commodore

The Bruins: Looking Ahead

The joyful exuberance doesn't have to stop, but as the hockey games have stopped, we can look forward to next season. And there's quite a bit to look forward to. The core group of guys will return. In other words, Tim Thomas will return. Will he duplicate his awe-inspiring performance from this past season? That might be tough. There's no reason to think that he won't be close to it, though, and I'd bet on him having at least one more top quality year left.

Chara, Seidenberg, Ference, Boychuk, and Mcquaid all return. Thankfully. And Tomas Kaberle is an unrestricted free agent. Thankfully. I doubt the Bruins will make any efforts to keep him here. The defense is the strongest part of this team, apart from Thomas. The Bruins don't need to improve much here. The whole idea of a "puck-moving defenseman" has always bugged me. Offense comes from forwards, defensemen can contribute to that, but it shouldn't cost them defensively. I like defensive defensemen that can also play the puck.

I wouldn't mind Kampfer being the #6 defenseman, but I imagine the Bruins will bring in a more experienced hand. And it probably won't be a big name, or a "puck mover."

In the forwards department, the Bruins will likely say goodbye to Michael Ryder. Although he sporadically provided memorable playoff moments, his lack of consistency has been the one consistent part of his career. Mark Recchi is also gone, going out with ring #3.

The top line of Krejci-Lucic-Horton should remain intact. The word from Horton's camp is that he's not experiencing any post-concussion symptoms. So let's be optimistic and assume that this line returns.

Marchand and Bergeron are on the 2nd line and will need a winger. Peverley is the ultimate utility guy and can slot in there. But I'd rather have Peverley on a grinding 3rd line with guys like Chris Kelly.

The Bruins have some cap room available. They have $52.2 million committed to players, and the cap will be $64.3. So that's $11.1 million they'll be able to commit to filling the few roster holes they have. There might be more, depending on what happens with Savard.

I'd like to see them acquire Erik Cole, who is a free agent. Every time the B's play the Hurricanes, Cole impresses me. He's a hard player, he can score (26 goals last year, 184 in his career), and he plays the power play. He's solid. He'll turn 33 in November. He's not a game changer by himself, but I think if he's on a line with Marchand and Bergeron, all three of them become very good players.

The 4th line of Paille, Campbell, and Thornton is a sturdy group, with Paille and Campbell providing invaluable PK minutes. And we all know what Thornton can bring.

I'd like to see Seguin start the year in the AHL, getting plenty of ice time to learn the NHL style of play. I also wouldn't mind him being on the 3rd line with Peverley and Kelly.

Brooks Laich might be the best free agent that the Bruins look at. He can play wing, and he can turn that power play around. I personally think Cole, at a lower price, is a better value.

As we saw in the playoffs, the game isn't played on paper. For the Bruins to repeat, they need the same quality defense and goaltending. They could use a more potent offense, so long as it doesn't lose it's physicality. Scorers get cold. Forecheckers don't.

The whole idea of needing a 40 goal scorer to win is a bit flimsy. Let's look at the 40 goal scorers from last year:

Corey Perry
Steven Stamkos
Jarome Iginla
Daniel Sedin
Ryan Kesler

Iginla's team didn't even make the playoffs. Perry's was out after Round 1. Stamkos made the East finals, we know about Sedin and Kesler. That's a wide range of team results from these 5 guys. Having elite scoring threats is nice, but they can get cold, they can get shut down. Relying on offensive production isn't enough. The Bruins need to improve by adding grinders who can also score.

-The Commodore

Fuck Whitey

As we all know, notorious South Boston gangster Whitey Bulger was apprehended in California Wednesday night. And I'd like to take the chance to clarify some misinformation about the Irish mobster.

Firstly, The Departed was not based on Whitey. I know, us here in Boston like to think that the world revolves around us. Believe it or not, people from outside 495 have generated ideas. The Departed's story was based on a movie called Infernal Affairs, which was made in Hong Kong in 2002. The whole idea of an undercover cop and an undercover mob guy is from that movie. Even key scenes are taken from that movie. The near identification at a cinema, the rooftop confrontation between gangsters and a police Captain. Only the character Frank in The Departed is loosely based on Whitey (his Irishness, sexual proclivity, and being an informant). That's it.

And that's another thing. Whitey was a fucking rat! I understand the whole glorification of criminals and outlaws, that's been going on from Robin Hood to Billy the Kid. But Whitey was an FBI informant for decades. He's no heroic criminal. He's a snitch.

He's also a perv. He and his buddies would round up the daughters of the poor in South Boston, and fuck them. These girls were 15, 14, 13, 12 years old. Whitey called them "tasty little morsels."

This guy's no hero. He's a scumbag. I wish torture were a legal form of punishment. It's a shame that he's been able to live an 81 year life in luxury, protected by moronic cronies from Southie who love him because he's a neighborhood Irishmen who did well in a criminal underworld dominated by other ethnicities. It's bad enough he's been able to evade punishment for so long. We don't need to be making him an immortal legend, a part of Boston lore. He was a pedophile and a rat. I hope he gets sodomized by a shillelagh.

-The Commodore

Tim Thomas' Trophy Case

Two nights ago, Tim Thomas added two impressive pieces of hardware to an already diverse collection of trophies and awards. And while the Conn Smythe, the Stanley Cup, and his inevitable second Vezina are the feature pieces of his trophy case, the rest of what's in there tells the story of his career.

He's got some college hockey honors. He was two time All-ECAC and two time All NCAA East All-American. He also has some less traditional, and more difficult to spell awards under his belt.

In 1998, he won the Urpo Ylönen trophy, given to the best goalie in Finland's SM-liiga. He's the only American who has one of those bad boys. His team also won the very large Kanada-malja ("Canada Cup"), Finland's championship trophy.

In 2005 he won the Kultainen kypärä ("Golden Helmet") in Finland, awarded to the best player as voted by his fellow players. He won another 'best player' award that year: the Lasse Oksanen trophy.

The variety of awards he has in that trophy case don't just testify to his quality as a player. They're not just achievements. They're milestones on a career that took one of the most unique paths from obscurity to greatness. Nobody in the world has an Urpo Ylönen, a Vezina, and a Conn Smythe.

-The Commodore

Bruins 4, Canucks 0

It didn't truly feel real until I saw Tim Thomas holding the Conn Smythe trophy. I've seen Thomas before, many times. I've seen the Conn Smythe as well. But when I saw that man and that thing together in the same frame, that's when it fully hit me what had happened.

The Bruins are Champions. Not Adams Division Champs, not Conference Champs. They didn't win the Presiden't Trophy, they won the Stanley fucking Cup. For the first time since 1972. For only their 6th time in history (remember, for a few decades there were only 6 teams in the League). The redheaded stepchildren of Boston sports are now the center of the Hub.

It started and ended with Thomas. His Finals numbers were unreal. A 1.15 GAA, and a .967 SV%, with two shutouts. All this against the best offense in the NHL. Thomas' season will go down as one of the best in the history of his position. The kid from Michigan whose career bounced around from Vermont to Houston to Finland to Hamilton to Sweden to Detroit to Providence and finally to Boston. What a great story, what a great player.

Then the defense. How monstrous were Zdeno Chara and Dennis Seidenberg in the postseason? Chara was a +16 in the playoffs and a +5 in this series. That's against the best players in the League. Against the Sedins, against Stamkos and St. Louis. He was +16!

Every forward contributed at some point. Horton's big game-winners. Ryder had a few huge games. Seguin's breakaways. Marchand's introduction to the NHL as a grinder and a scorer. Bergeron, Recchi, everyone had at least one big, vital performance in one game. And guys like Marchand and Peverley seemed to repeatedly come through in the clutch. 11 playoff goals for Marchand.

The same goes for defensemen like Boychuk, Ference, and McQuaid. Kaberle's biggest contribution was probably holding the Cup while his teammates drank from it. But who cares?

This is just a surreal feeling. This wasn't supposed to happen, right? Even when every other team in Boston was winning, the B's were lousy. They were the butts of jokes. They were the ones who couldn't get it done. And now they're part of the club, part of the best decade for any city in the history of sports.

On June 16, 2001, the Red Sox were on their way to another 2nd place season behind the Yankees. The Patriots had just used the 6th overall pick to draft Richard Seymour, and were hoping to recover from a 5-11 season under 2nd year head coach Bill Belichick. The Celtics were reeling from a 36-46 season that saw the departure of Rick Pitino. Boston sports were in a dark period.

Now look at where we are on June 16, 2011. We're preparing for another parade. Our Police Department has more experience in controlling Championship rioting than any other in the country. The longest active title drought belongs to the Patriots, who haven't won since all the way back in 2004. What a time to be from Boston.

Thank you, Bruins.

-The Commodore

Bruins 5, Canucks 2

I wonder if Roberto Luongo will have any more critiques for Tim Thomas. I have my doubts. The cocksure goaltender didn't even last a period, and I have to say that each goal he allowed was pretty unforgivable for a goalie. You won't hear Thomas say that, because he respects the camaraderie that goalies share. But I don't have such scruples. Luongo sucked, the Bruins took advantage, and now the series is tied 3-3.

Tim Thomas deserves the Conn Smythe right now. Who else could win it?

But that being said, Roberto Luongo has had the biggest impact on this series. When he performs adequately, the Canucks win. When he doesn't, they lose. He's controlled this duel from Game 1, much more than Thomas has, even though Thomas has by far been the better goalie.

I guess what I'm saying is that even if Luongo does well, the Bruins need to find a way to win. They need to get production from the Power Play, they need to take care of the puck. They're going to need to win a close game on the road to bring the Cup where it belongs to Boston. The hockey gods are not pleased with the diving of the Sedins, or the shenanigans of Burrows, or how pillow soft Lapierre is, or the dastardly hit by Rome. The hockey gods want the Cup in Boston. The Bruins need to appease the hockey gods, and win it.

Game 7 Wednesday night and I can't wait.

Canucks 1, Bruins 0

The Bruins have allowed 6 goals in 5 games, they're getting stellar goaltending from Tim Thomas, outstanding defensive play, an unbelievable penalty kill, and they're down 3-2 in this series. Why? The defensive designs of Claude Julien are being executed well by Chara, Seidenberg, Ference and McQuaid. Boychuk's also improved compared to last series. And of course, there's Thomas. These guys are doing exactly what they need to do to put this team in a position to win.

But the offense is missing. The Power Play sucks, only looking good in that 8-1 drubbing that saw the Bruins dominant no matter what the manpower situation was. Kaberle doesn't deserve PP time, let alone the 4:08 he got in Game 5. He has no shooting ability. His passes only compound one of the Bruins' biggest problems on the PP: they pass the puck too much instead of moving bodies.

I'd rather see Boychuk out there (0:00 PP time in Game 5), as he actually has a decent shot that other teams need to respect. He moves his feet, he's physical.

And I'd like to see Bergeron and Recchi playing in the high-slot, almost in between the two defensemen (or even replacing them, especially replacing a pinching Chara). These guys can shoot from up there, they can drive to the net, they can force the Canucks to either defend high or low. Peverley would also be a good guy to have up there. He might be the best net-driver on the team.

And why no Seguin? He's the most offensive-minded player, the most naturally talented shooter on the team, he can pass, he can skate, he's always moving with or without the puck. 0:12 of Power Play time in Game 5. Why? Why doesn't Julien get interrogated for that?

The Bruins had three Power Plays in the 1st period. Those were golden opportunities to get ahead, to instill some doubt in Luongo, and maybe most importantly: to make Vancouver think twice about physical play. The Canucks matched then surpassed the Bruins in physicality Friday night. They out-hit the Bruins 47-27. And in the 1st period, they were a bit too eager to play physical. Torres tripping Campbell, Sedin punching Boychuk in the back, Alberts going after Thornton. These were all stupid penalties, and had the Bruins made them pay for them on the scoreboard, some Canucks might have eased off the physical play for the rest of the game.

But they didn't. They continued the intensity and were the better team. The Bruins hurt their own offense with giveaways. Every time Krejci tries to toy with the puck by the blue-line, I get nervous. He really needs to learn the geography of the ice. You can do that fancy crap deep in the zone, but not by the blue-line. Location, location, location.

Ryder went from having one of his strongest games in Game 4, to one of his weakest. That's been a theme for him in this series, in the postseason, in the regular season, in his career.

Kaberle doesn't deserve to dress. Dress Hnidy, or Kampfer, and play them in an emergency. He's awful. He's a negative influence on all aspects of the game. He was born to be a Maple Leaf.

This was a great opportunity to win the series. Had the Bruins won out there, I have no doubt that they'd win the Cup. Now, the task in front of them is pretty tough. They had Luongo on the ropes, but allowed him to build confidence in that 1st period, and now the overrated, greasy, Quebecois prima donna is feeling cocky. Here's what he said about the goal Thomas allowed:

"It's an easy save for me, but if you're wandering out and aggressive like he does, that's going to happen. He might make some saves that I won't, but in a case like that, we want to take advantage of a bounce like that and make sure we're in a good position to bury those."

Wow. A goalie criticizing another goalie. Goalies are in a unique brotherhood, they're all comrades out there, even on different teams. You remember that farcical "fight" between Thomas and Price? Thomas and Rask, despite being in direct competition with each other, are buddies. But Luongo's arrogance goes beyond the Fraternal Order of Goaltenders.

And who is he to criticize Thomas' style? Thomas has stopped 102 of the last 104 shots he's faced. The goal was perhaps a result of Thomas' aggressiveness, but the 165 shots he's stopped in this series weren't goals because of his aggressiveness. Luongo has stopped 141 of 155.

Luongo tried to qualify his remarks the next day:

"I said he might make some saves that I don't. I was just saying, on that particular play, I would have played it different. That's the difference between me and him. I have been pumping his tires ever since the series started. I haven't heard one nice thing he had to say about me. That's the way it is."

So has Roberto been spending his off-days scouring the media for Tim Thomas saying nice things about him? Thomas' response to this sums up how much more character, quiet confidence, and sheer dignity the Bruins goalie has compared to his counterpart:

"I guess I didn't realize it was my job to pump his tires. I guess I have to apologize for that. I still think I'm the goaltender on the union side and I stick with all the other goalies. In being one and knowing what it takes to perform at this level and with this amount of pressure, I understand to a certain extent what every other goaltender is going through. I guess that's that."

There's just so much not to like about the Canucks. I didn't hate them before this series, but I guess that's because I didn't know them. Burrows' biting, then his trying to draw a call by stepping on Lucic's stick. The Aaron Rome hit on Horton. The Sedin twins falling down with ease. Maxim Lapierre's taunting. Pretty much everything Lapierre did in Game 5. His dive was vintage Canadien. Once a Hab, always a Hab.

It's gone beyond wanting to see the Bruins win. An extra incentive would be to rob these Canucks of glory. Game 6 tonight in Boston.

-The Commodore

Punish the Conferences

USC got stripped of a title, Ohio State's Jim Tressel quit, these are just the latest stories of minor corruption in big time college football.

What pisses me off is that the conferences don't get punished. The Pac-10 got $17 million for USC's appearance in the Orange Bowl that year. Why don't they have to surrender that money? If the National Title was ill-gotten, wasn't the bid to the title game?

You might ask me why I'd want to punish U-Washington for something that happened at USC. But why does some teammate of Reggie Bush get punished for what Bush did? For how many of Bush's teammates was that achievement the pinnacle of their life? Bush gets his NFL salary, his NFL endorsements, but now his former teammates have "vacated" their title. What the hell does Bush care about Wikipedia listing USC's title as vacated?

Punish the conferences for violations like this. Then the conferences will actually try to police their own schools. And the Pac-10 benefited from Bush's presence just as much as USC did. Why should the NCAA have to watch all 120 programs? How come we never hear about the BigTen uncovering some scandal within their own conference? Because they're not looking. Why would they look?

All the power in college football is held by the conferences. The conferences concocted the BCS, not the NCAA. The conferences get all the money and decide where it goes. They get rewarded for their teams' successes, so why not also hold them responsible for their violations?

-The Commodore