Damnit Soccer Cut It Out!

Soccer just goes too far sometimes, from shooting their own goalie, riots in the stands and just their general douchebagerry. Once again, they haven't let us down...

"Friends brought a coffin with the body of a 17-year-old boy into a soccer match Sunday between Cucuta Deportivo and Envigado, according to Colombia Reports. Christopher Jacome, a big fan of Cucuta, was gunned down Saturday in a local park while playing soccer, according to the paper.Friends of Jacome took his body from the funeral home after the wake and brought it into General Santander Stadium for the game. "They don't let in the fanatics, but yes, a cadaver. This is the only part of the world where this has happened," Julio Rivera, medic for Cucuta, told the paper. Stadium officials say they will hold a meeting to find out who allowed the dead body to be brought to the match (FoxNews)."

I get that the kid was a big soccer fan, and was shot while playing soccer, but you do a moment of silence or something, not pass around his coffin during the game. The article references "Weekend at Bernie's", which is damn fitting, because the only way I see this being acceptable is if everyone was doing the Bernie while passing around the coffin.

World's Shortest Man Dead at 21. Years, Not Inches

He Pingping, the world's shortest man, has died. He was 21. I don't want to be too mean here or anything, but people that are this small fucking creep me out. I don't know if there are any X-Files fans from back in the day, but they had this episode where there was a homicidal Indian midget with no legs that pushed himself around on a flat scooter type thing that you move cabinets and shit with.

And after 1/2 hour of research here he is (no idea how pumped I am that I found this)...

Yea...kind of similar (and pretty fucking terrifying), so I'm glad he's dead, because this gave me endless nightmares as a kid. My life doesn't need any creaky scooter midgets attacking me.

Baseball Cards and Hair

Who likes baseball cards?

(Cheers and hollering)

Now who likes baseball cards with hair in it?

(Silence before raping and pillaging)

On a recent evening, Barbara Ann Artusa and her husband hunkered down on the living room floor for their Saturday night ritual: opening packs of baseball cards.

That night, however, Ms. Artusa, a baseball-card collector since the 1970s, found something unusual in one pack -- a scratch-off code that pointed her to a Web site. The site told her she had won something too delicate to include in a regular pack: a single strand of hair from the head of Abraham Lincoln.

Upper Deck noticed hair on a list of items for sale from a collector it does business with, and thought it compelling, though it gave pause to some. "It was a little awkward initially, like, 'Is it a little morbid?'" says Joe Fallon, director of innovation for Upper Deck. "But when we saw it, we knew we had a good idea." Plus, it fit easily on a trading card.

The buzz that generated -- Ms. Artusa posted her Lincoln card on eBay for $30,000 -- prompted the company to launch a second series of hair cards a couple of months later. The company says that group of 140 includes strands from figures including John F. and Jackie Kennedy. WSJ

When I saw this story in yesterday's Wall Street Journal I was dumbfounded. When you open a pack of baseball cards you get the thrill of finding a rookie card, hologram card, player jersey card or something in the area. However, a hair from a dead person just doesn't intrigue me. I mean couldn't they just put an autograph or a clothing sample? I am also pretty sure Abraham Lincoln and John and Jackie Kennedy didn't think that this is what would happen with their bodies. Whatever, to each his own.

Kids these days.