AIDS: We Did It!!!

AIDS: We Did It! from Elizabeth Banks

I Hope Your Cat Gets Feline Aids

When I first saw this I almost pissed myself...

A Good AIDS Joke

A doctor goes to his office one Monday and is shocked to find that it has been ransacked and the files have been all mixed up. He sees the file for Mrs. Smith, but her chart is mixed up with some of the others and he can't tell which is which.

He finally narrows it down to two charts and he decides to call her house. Mr. Smith answers the phone.

"Mr. Smith, this is Dr. Jenkins. I have bad news. Your wife either has AIDS or Alzheimer's disease, I don't know which."

"Well, what should I do?" asks a distraught Mr. Smith

"Drop her off at the edge of town", says the doctor, "and if she finds her way back, DON'T FUCK HER!"

Who Doesn't Like A Good AIDS Joke?

Doctor: "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS."

Husband: "How can we find out which?"

Doctor: "I need you to run a little experiment this weekend. Take your wife to a park and leave her there. If she finds her way home...don't fuck her."

Pope Denounces Use of Condoms

So according to BBC News, the Pope has come out and officially denounced the use of condoms going on to state that they actually escalate the HIV/AIDS epidemic. We all probably know that the Catholic Church doesn't premote pre marital sex or whatever, and think sex should be shared by two people in love who are married. This is all fine and good, but the Pope supposedly came out with these statements after a trip to Africa where the HIV/AIDS problem is HUGE and showing no signs of getting better.

The Pope had said the "cruel epidemic" should be tackled through abstinence and fidelity rather than condom use. Speaking during his first visit to Africa, the Pope said HIV/Aids was "a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which can even increase the problem".
The Pope said "the traditional teaching of the Church has proven to be the only failsafe way to prevent the spread of HIV/Aids."

People are saying the Pope's message was a little misconstrued on this one, but what is there to misconstrue? He is basically saying that condoms increase the spreading of AIDS & HIV. I think he would be better to just keep quiet on this controversial issue. People are obviously going to have sex regardless, so you might as well promote safe sex, especially in a place like Africa where the problem is at an all time high and shows no signs of letting up. I feel he shouldv'e spoken out about other issues such as the immense amount of rapes in that area which are probably also contributing heavily to the cause. Wrap it up B!


Quotes used FROM THE BBC WORLD SERVICE

Cole Hamels' Wife = Awesome

So apparently SI did some feature on Phillies stud ace Cole Hamels and used his friends and family to add some color. I did not actually read the piece myself and instead let Deadspin do the dirty work for me.

His wife, Survivor alum Heidi Strobel, discussed the plans for the family. Specifically, how they plan to adopt some AIDS riddled kids from Sengala or Ethiopia...which ever one is not fictional, they are all so confusing. This is all well and good, plenty of celebrities have taken up the cause - though I'm not so sure they have gone after the ones ALREADY infected with AIDS. The last thing anyone needs is some AIDS baby getting a little too bitey with the dog then before you know it you are putting old Yeller out to pasture, but I digress.

The real point of the story is Heidi's rationale for adopting these kids -

"We're in the process of adopting an AIDS orphan from Ethiopia. Maybe two. I'm so pumped. I'd adopt six if I could. When I was five years old-I grew up in a very rural town in Missouri, and I had never even seen a black person-they asked us to draw a picture of ourselves in the future, and I drew myself holding hands with a line of tiny black stick figures. I've always wanted this."

And cut.

This Chick Says Alomar Does Not have AIDS

Roberto Alomar's new squeeze Wednesday denounced a claim by his ex-lover that the baseball great insisted on having unprotected sex while he was HIV-positive.

"A vile lie," voluptuous model Maripily Rivera told a Puerto Rico TV station, the newspaper Primera Hora reported. "It's not true. It's a very delicate case." NYP

I believe it because she's hot, and he is one of my favorite players of all time. Keep on keepin on, Roberto.

Roberto Alomar Has Aids?

Baseball great Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit … In April 2005, Alomar told Dall he was suffering from erectile dysfunction and confided “he was raped by two Mexican men after playing a ballgame in New Mexico or a Southwestern state when he was 17,” the suit says. NYP

Wow. I loved Roberto when he was on the Blue Jays, but then he started turning into a douche bag. This lawsuit will be pretty easy to see if it is credible or not. Alomar's lawyers say he is innocent.

Not A Joke

"It’s about a guy on Broadway who is gay, has HIV and AIDS, and has to go back and face his wife and his kids that he left. It’s very funny… No, it’s very funny. The premise doesn’t sound funny, but it is. All right?" Elton John

Ben Still and Elton John will be in this musical.

Wow.

Magic Faked AIDS

Been saying it forever.