Why Not?

Why not be gross, but think your sexy, dance with a stripper pole then soil yourself?

I suddenly understand DP's random urge to kill Claire from LOST.

Stoughton Cop Loses Job Over "Bridget the Midget"

Sometimes you read a story that makes you laugh so hard you disturb everyone who is actually doing work around you. This is one of those stories...

"A Stoughton cop has resigned after hitting a strip joint on duty to try and meet "the world’s smallest porn star," putting an unapproved laser scope on his gun and lying to investigators, the town’s police chief told The Herald today.

Officer Richard P. Bennett, 28, has stepped down after five officers reported he left his patrol to go to Alex’s gentleman’s club to meet "Bridget the Midget," a 3-foot, 9-inch tall porn star, Stoughton Police Chief Paul Shastany said (Boston Herald)."

Wow.

How do you explain to your mother/wife/kids/ect that you just had to go to the strip club while on the clock to see porn star "Bridget the Midget"???

Tough sell.

It kind of seems like one of those Twix commercials, except I don't think he could come up with anything to defend that even after buying some time with the Twix.

The worst part of this is he lost his job over going to Alex's. If you live in Mass you have probably been there. It, in short, is the worst. It is nothing but strung out mothers (grandmothers?) that no one really wants to see naked. It's really just sad, but I guess you just can pass up the opportunity to see the world's smallest midget porn star.

I just threw up.

"The School House" Strip Club

About six months ago, the vacant elementary school bordered by homes on a rural highway was converted into a strip club called The School House. Downstate residents are still fuming....

"It's a whorehouse," said Ward, co-owner of a nearby garden center where she and her husband live. "I honestly don't feel as safe here as what I did. And the name they gave it — that is unbelievable. There's nobody in there learning anything, I guarantee you."

Well little lady you are so wrong. There are many things a man learns at a strip club, like...

- Always have small bills on you.
- Always bring cash.
- Woman are just using you for your money.
- If you have enough money a woman will do ANYTHING.
- A man in a $10,000 suit, and a guy wearing overalls act the same when titties are out.
- Beware ATM machines.
- The smell of body lotion is surprisingly hard to get off.
- Drinking makes awkward times, less awkward.
- How to lie to your wife/girlfriend.
- The song "pour some sugar on me" is only acceptable in the confines of a strip club.
- Girls will say anything for more money ("I'm just an honest girl trying to get through college"....yea ok).

So, get off your high horse lady, the kids will probably learn more there then they did at school.

PacMan Jones "Making It Rain"

The infomous video has finally been released...

Friday...

Have You Ever Wondered...

Have you ever wondered if the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper's butt crack?



If not, you're wondering now.



Have a nice day...

14 Year Old Stripper

"Police say a 14-year-old girl was dancing topless at an Akron strip club when they raided the bar and arrested four exotic dancers. The girl has been placed in protective custody. The bar's owner and manager were charged with illegal use of a minor in a nudity performance and child endangering (FoxNews)."

This does not surprise me in the least. People make fun of Detroit, and New Orleans, but has anyone been through Akron??? Fucking scariest place I have ever driven through. Oh yea, there was no way I was getting out of my car, or even going to a gas station in that place. It was like a fucking ghost city, except in stead of zombies, just crackheads running around. No wonder Lebron liked to pretend he is from New York instead of Akron (aka Hell on Earth).

Hard Out Here To Be A Stripper

Even at 52, it isn’t easy to break into the business: A 52-year-old woman who took a job as an exotic dancer to help make ends meet was attacked on her first day by a jealous co-worker armed with a stiletto shoe, police said. … ‘’The other girls were upset she was there and said, ‘We don’t need any more dancers around here,’ ‘’ Akron police Lt. Rick Edwards said. A dancer then took her high-heeled shoe and began striking the rookie stripper in the face, police said. The victim was taken to Akron General Medical Center, where nurses contacted police.

This is hysterical, but honestly what is a 52 year old trying to do being a stripper? This is a ridiculous, they already don't have souls or any self confidence, why make it worse for this poor lady.

ShamWow Guy Arrested for PUNCHING A PROSTITUTE IN THE FACE

FROM SUN-TIMES STAFF
He's known for hawking a super-absorbent towels on in commercials, but this pitch man found himself in hot water -- without the aid of a ShamWow -- last month.

ShamWow pitchman Vince Shlomi was arrested last month on felony battery charges for allegedly punching a stripper, according to the Web site TheSmokingGun.com

Police reports obtained by the site claim that Shlomi met 26-year-old prostitute Lenea Harris at a Miami nightclub, and subsequently brought her back to his room at Setai Hotel. Shlomi allegedly paid Harris $1,000 for "straight sex."

That's went things took a turn.

Shlomi told police "that he kissed [Harris] when all of a sudden [Harris] bit his tongue and would not let go," according to the report.

Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue, and then ran to the lobby to call police. Harris suffered several cuts and fractures to her face.

Mom of the Year Candidate

Strip Club to Host Job Fair

"Here's a job opportunity you won't need to buy a new wardrobe for. Hoping to take advantage of Rhode Island's floundering economy, owners of the Foxy Lady strip club in Providence plan to hold a job fair on Saturday. They say they're looking to fill around 30 positions, from strippers and waitresses to disc jockeys and bartenders, at that club and two others in Massachusetts. "I need more managers, I need more competent staff, and I need more attractive waitresses to go along with the ones I have right now," said co-owner Tom Tsoumas. The naked truth is that Rhode Island's economy is among the worst in the nation, with an unemployment rate of 10.3 percent in January (Yahoo.com)."

Rhode Island sucks, but at least the Foxy is stepping up. I wonder how many people will actually show up? I would like to see if the number of strippers in this country go up because of the economy, or does it go down because people don't have the money to waste on a lap dance. Either way, Mo Vaughn will be first in line for this job.

Dennis Dixon Passed the First Test of the NFL

I got this story from The Big Lead, apparently Dennis Dixon, for his NFL combine, is practicing the ultimate NFL test in making it rain. Dennis Dixon and strip club buddy Darius Miles had a grand old time throwing thousands of dollars in the air and "making it rain" on strippers. The best quote about the story was :
"At one point, a dancer had so many one-dollar bills on the stage around her, she asked a bouncer for a paper sack. Miles also had someone request a song from the DJ, according to a patron. Which is how the University of Oregon fight song ended up being played while women gyrated on stage and Miles threw dollar bills, laughed, pumped his fist and slapped backs with a former Heisman Trophy candidate before disappearing into the VIP room."

Way to go Dennis, keep it up.