I Hate Lacrosse

All this weekend, Gillette Stadium has hosted the NCAA Lacrosse Championships. And with apologies to DP's woman, I must declare that lacrosse is a shit sport. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm not saying it isn't fun to play, but I am saying that it sucks more than Jenna Jameson on ecstasy.

Why?

Here's why:

1. Someone once told me lacrosse was like a mix between soccer and hockey. I like soccer and I like hockey. I also like A-1 sauce and I like ice cream. That doesn't mean I want to combine them.

2. lax is short for lacrosse, and it's also short for laxative.



3. Lacrosse is hugely popular in Syracuse and Central New York, and as someone who lived in CNY, I can tell you that Central New York is shit.

4. The only people who like it are people who play it.

5. What the fuck is an attackman? Can't you say "Attacker?"

6. The faceoffs are gay, jump balls would be cooler, or maybe start play XFL style.



7. What kind of uniform involves a masked helmet AND shorts with NO leg padding?

8. Why does the goalie get a tennis racket?

9. The visor over the facemask of a lacrosse helmet is lame. Wear a shaded visor like Ricky Williams INSIDE the helmet.

10. The ball is essentially an oversized bouncy ball

11. The field looks like an enlarged tennis court

12. Duke blows

13. Syracuse sucks

-The Commodore

Jim Boeheim: Whiny Bitch

One of the gayest "Coach Attacking Media" outbursts you'll ever see. Boeheim comes off as nothing but a little bitch. He swears, which is against the rules in a good coaching tirade. And the swearing seems forced, don't you think? And attacking the student newspaper, Jimmy? Come on, grow a pair and attack someone who doesn't subsist on Ramen noodles, Keystone Light, and Family Guy DVDs.

"The most bullshit thing I've seen in 30 years."

Wow, Jimmy, you must have an awesome life if the most bullshit thing you've seen in three decades is some college newspaper calling a player "overrated." I gues things like Vietnam, Watergate, Iran Contra, the Darfur genocide, Katrina, and the collapse of syracuse football pale in comparison to your star player getting called out for being an overrated toolbox. Good perspective there, Jimmy.

And McNamara was overrated!!! Especially in upstate NY!

You can be overrated and still be good. Derek Jeter, for instance, is a great player; but he's overrated. All the word "overrated" means is that he's not as great as people think he is, not that he isn't good at all.

BUY A FUCKING DICTIONARY!

-The Commodore