Peoria Chiefs Instantly My Favorite Minor League Team

When I look at minor league baseball I only care about individual players. Wins and losses really don't matter at all to me, but now there is one team that I will root for during the rest of my days on Earth... The Peoria Chiefs.

Who are they? They are the Class A affiliate of the Chicago Cubs, and they are throwing the greatest promotion in sports history. The best part? It's so genius that it's going to cost them nothing.

Tomorrow night the Chiefs are having a "LeBron James NBA Championship Replica Giveaway night". What will they be handing out? Nothing. They are going to have people standing outside handing you invisible ring. Oh, and it gets better.

The whole night they will be reliving the "true" champions (The Chicago Bulls' six NBA titles). They are also said to be looking into whether they can skip the fourth inning. Why? Because it would commemorate Lebron James epic 4th quarter fails (18 points during the fourth quarter in six NBA Finals games).

Really, can you think of anything better then that. My hats off to you Peoria Chiefs, that is the single greatest promotion a team has ever done (and it doesn't cost them a dime!).

Mavericks 112, Heat 103

Both offenses exploded last night, each surpassing the century mark for the first time in the series. Miami's 52.9% shooting was impressive, but Dallas' 56.5% was just a bit more so. The Heat spent most of the game without Wade, then essentially spent the 4th quarter without LeBron.

If Dallas didn't win this one, I felt like the series would be over. Down 3-2 going back to Miami would have been too tough to overcome. And while the Mavs still have to win one more game, they needed this game last night.

Dirk Nowitski had another stellar performance with 29 points. But the hype around him is a little surprising. I won't go so far as to say he's overrated. I think maybe he was underrated before this run by the Mavs. Now people feel the need to exaggerate. Still, he is carrying Dallas on those German shoulders.

It was a team effort for the Mavs, though. Jason Terry scored 21 off the bench, Jose Juan Barea added 17, Kidd had 13, and Chandler had 13. The Mavericks hit 68.4$ of their three pointers.

LeBron James had a triple-double with 17 points, 10 boards, and 10 assists. But he only scored 2 points in the 4th. That night kind of sums up what his critics think of his career.

Game 6 Sunday night.

-The Commodore

I Want to Watch the NBA Finals, But...

I don't like LeBron James. I hate him. I have no opinion of the Mavs, but they might be my 3rd favorite team in all of sports at the moment. I never liked James, his "Decision" made me like him less, and now LeBron ball-washers like Michael Wilbon portray him as a victim so I hate him even more. If you don't want media scrutiny, don't produce your own TV shows.

So I've been trying to watch the NBA Finals, rooting against the Heat. And they've been great games. But the endless commercials make it impossible for me to watch more than a minute at a time. And why do these teams need 6 timeouts each? It's so boring. Regular timeouts, TV timeouts, then ABC turns a 20 second timeout into a 30 second timeout with a commercial, then the players need 10 more seconds to get set for the play.

The most exciting 2 minutes of the game take 12 minutes to unfold. That doesn't build excitement, it's just annoying.

I can occasionally like watching basketball, especially the final minutes of a close playoff game. I don't like commercials, I don't like watching basketball players stand around and do nothing. It's just aggravating. And you know what else is boring? Free throws. I can't think of much outside of baseball that's more uninteresting than a free throw.

Get rid of the timeouts, get rid of the 15 seconds it takes to line up a free throw, and reduce the commercials. Also play the game on ice and allow contact.

-The Commodore

Heat 97, Celtics 87

Around this time 4 years ago, Celtics fans were talking about lotteries. And now we're disappointed that we've only seen the C's win 1 title in 3 years. So let's not get too depressed about the possibilities of the Big Three breaking up. Let's not dwell on lost opportunities, or focus on the negative. In the last three years, this team went from a joke to a model franchise. They won 3 divisional titles, 2 Conference Championships, and 1 NBA Championship. They've become a face-franchise of the Association. They've rekindled old rivalries (Los Angeles) and established new ones (Miami, New York). This might be the end of an era for the Celtics. But it was one hell of an era.



Now to the game. You have to give credit to Miami. LeBron's been long criticized as a poor finisher. And before this series, I felt like if the Celtics could keep games close, their experience and clutchness would propel them to victory, just as it did in the Knicks series. However, the Heat were better in those late stages. Last night, while Ray Allen missed a three, and the C's turned the ball over with ease, LeBron, Wade, and James Jones were knocking down huge 3 point shots.



The Celtics turned the ball over 17 times. Garnett was 3 of 8 with his free throws. Glen Davis still can't find himself. Rondo played 30 minutes and most of those were ineffective. There was no singular reason for the Celtics losing. They lost for a number of reasons.



And without stellar 4th quarter performances from guys like Delonte West, it might have been over much sooner. West was the Celtics' best player in the 4th quarter. That's not a winning formula.



And at least LeBron's post-game interview was classy, and laced with praise for the Celtics. At the same time, he's still an annoying bitch, and I hope either the Bulls or Hawks destroy him in the next round.



Beat LeBron



-The Commodore

Breaking News: Gloria James Is A Crazy Psycho Bitch

This is the only thing I feel bad for when it comes to LeBron. His mom is an out of control, player humping, lush. That sucks. He brings a lot of this shit upon himself, but no one should have to deal with this.

Apparently, Gloria is back at it.
"Gloria James was taken into custody after an incident at the Fontainebleau Hotel at 4441 Collins Ave., according to Miami Beach Police.

Police have not given the details of her arrest, but said she was released early Thursday morning"

This isn't the first time she's been in trouble. Back in 2006 she got in a DUI and the Hummer incident in 2003 when LeBron turned 18.

More will come I'm sure.

LEBRON IS A BITCH WE KNOW...BUT REALLY?

I've been wait for a moment of silence to write this article. Lebron really dodged a bullet here somehow and he's lucky...but I can't let this pass. If someones being a bitch, gotta make him honest and call him out.

"At small forward, from St. Vincent St. Mary's High School, number 6 Lebron James."

This piece of shit doesn't come out.

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about. Last week when Miami made a visit to Cleveland, during the player intros Lebron didn't come out when he was called. He didn't show up until it was time for tip off.

Okay Lebron..."Where were you?" asked an ESPN analyst.

"I was in the bathroom, am I aloud to do that?" He said while looking away from the camera.

First of all, I can honestly say this. I played poker for a living for 3 years of my life. I routed Casinos to find the best games every single night to make my living. I retired making 86 dollars an hour. I did 48 hour sessions. You do the math. Sorry for the tangent, and I promise I'm not rubbing this in to anyone who longs for that lifestyle. I'm just pointing that I was very very successful. So take my word for it as a 76 percent winner every time I sit at the poker table.

LEBRON IS A FUCKING LIAR.

I was in the bathroom. Like, couldn't he think of another excuse? He knew he'd be asked. I'm sure his coach and "team lebron" (notice the no caps lebron lost his privilege to capitalize his name) had a meeting and talked about this. I retired from poker to become a filmmaker and more notably a film script writer. So transitioning from one career to another, here's what the conversation probably went.

lebron: Coach can I talk to you for a second

Erik: Sure LB, whats up

lebron: it's kinda private, can we talk in your office

Erik: Sure come this way.

Erik and Lebron walk to his office and enter. lebron closes the door behind him.

Erik: Whats up?

lebron: well tonights game got me a little nervous.

Erik: Oh don't be nervous, just play our game and we'll be fine.

lebron: No, not that, the introductions. There gonna boo me. Boo me loud. Someone might throw something. Me and my advisor team feel I should skip player intros.

Erik: Oh Lebron, I'm not sure if thats a good idea. Your gonna have to answer for that.

lebron: I don't wanna get my feelings hurt.

Erik: Really?

lebron: yeah. It might effects my game.

Erik: okay. Well what will you say to the media when they ask?

lebron: I don't know.

Erik: Well you can't exactly say you were in the bathroom.

lebron: OH MY GOD thats a great idea. Gee thanks coach this is the best idea since I decided to go on tv and tell everyone I was coming here.

Erik: Wow...maybe your right. Or it's as good as when I told the public our team was crying in the locker room.

lebron: people will believe me right?

Erik: Sure. Why wouldn't they? You gotta go you gotta go right.


Okay let me end this right now before I bored the shit out of everyone. I think he should have gotten more back lash for this than the decision. At least the decision was for charity. He was just plain scared. Thats the only explanation. I really have nothing more to say in the matter I just didn't want this to go unnoticed.

By the way. Miami got their ass kicked.

Letter to LeBron The Asshole

Dear LeBron,
I have a couple of pet peeves in sports and someone relating a game to war and his teammates to soldiers is one of them. Here is what you texted last night:
20+ games left in phase 2. I’m ReFOCUSED! No prisoners, I have no friends when at WAR besides my Soldiers.

It's another example of an athlete being completely ignorant. You get paid hundreds of millions to dunk a basketball, not patrol land mine laced roads in Afghanistan for what, comparatively speaking, pays nothing and could cost you your life. You have no idea what it is like, if anything, you are the furthest removed from a situation than anyone in the USA. People have been fawning over you since High School and then you signed a 100 million dollar shoe deal right after High School. Don't belittle the war and soldiers please.

Also, getting passed the the stupid war and soldiers analogy, LeBron stop trying to be fake tough, you fucking homo. You are the biggest ego maniac in the world and cares what everyone thinks of him. If you want examples look at your What Should I Do commercial, his retweeting mean tweets, and The Decision. There are really only a couple bad bood teams that mind their own business and that would be the Celtics and the Lakers. I can't speak for the Lakers so much, but the Celtics really just don't like people. Even during the All Star they didn't even talk to the other players who were there teammates.

Also motherfucker if you were ReFOCUSED you wouldn't have blown a 21 point lead against the Magic, you wouldn't have missed yet another clutch 3 and you would be able to beat a team that had over a .500 record.

So LeBron, like I end most of my posts directed at you....

Die

Karma Comes back to LeBron

After the Lakers demolished the Cavaliers by 1,000 points the other day, LeBron (Who is embracing his role as the villain, tweeted this)

One who the hell is he to be tweeting something after watching another team beat the Cavs. if he did it after he played the Cavs that would be one thing. But to watch some other team take care of business and leave a smug tweet is kind of BS.

Second, LeBron doesn't really have the right to say anything with a championship ring missing in his trophy case. He needs to prove something before he can talk. And to cop out with God at the end of the tweet is pretty cowardly too.

But the best thing that happened with all of this, is that Karma came back and bit him in the ass as he tweaked his ankle last night in a loss to the 13-24 Clippers. If you don't believe in karma, you have to admit the coincidence is pretty funny.

I hope this is one of a series of terrible things that comes LeBrons way.

The Return Of Hellenga

So every couple of days me and URI legend Dustin Hellenga go back and forth for about an hour on how much I hate the Heat and how much he ball washes them. Recently he approached us to write from time to time because he would make the blog "hot".

Anyways, here it is:

The King and his men are in full stride and only a few months into a much anticipated NBA season. It was said by many that the recipe of Wade, Bosh and James would take a long time to get cookin'. If you consider 17 games a long time, well, you haven't got a clue. The dominance is in full effect and is showing no signs of slowing! "The Heatles" have won 19 out of 20 and an NBA best 11 straight on the road, 10 of which were all in December which gives them an NBA record for putting a donut in the loss column in a calender month!

The fact of the matter is we are watching a team that could possibly go down as the best team of all time! The possibility of another team taking them down in a 7 game series is highly unlikely. The youth and basketball knowledge of these 3 studs is just too much for even the Lakers, Spurs and Celtics to keep up with.
The King will be crowned this season and there is nothing any team or any hater can do about it! The only talents are in South Beach!

And LeBron Wonders Why We Hate Him

I don't have much sympathy for athletes complaining. And LeBron's recent anti-playing-on-Christmas quotes really pushed a button with me.

"If you ask any player in the league, we'd rather be home with our families. I think the people that even set the games up would rather be home with their family during this day. It's not just a regular holiday. It's definitely one of those days that you wish you could wake up in the morning with the kids and open up presents. The fans, we always say it's good for the fans. But the fans get an opportunity to see us all year. We've got TV games all year. We've got a TV game on Thursday (in Phoenix). I don't care for it too much."

Cry me a river. LeBron's life is 365 days of Christmas every year. He's paid millions to play basketball for 6 months, get knocked out of the playoffs, then spend the summer filming obnoxious commercials. I'll take that deal, even though it includes a trip to LA on Christmas. Hell, I don't have that life, and I'm still working a few hours on Christmas. Why? Because I live in the real world and need money.

And fuck Phil Jackson, too. He's against the Christmas game for religious reason. He'll get all pious and rail against TV dollars ruining a Christian holiday. Funny how he doesn't moan about TV money when he gets paid by the Lakers (who get money from the NBA, that comes from the TV stations).

If Jackson had any stones, he'd take the Christmas game off and spend it in church. Just like how Koufax refused to pitch on Saturdays.

I get why these guys don't want to spend their holiday away from family. But they are in the entertainment business. The rest of us spend holidays in homes, with family, and it's nice to have something on TV for everyone to enjoy.

And this is my biggest problem with LeBron. He doesn't get what it is to be a normal human being. He doesn't get why people hate him for The Decision. He doesn't get that maybe he should just say "I'd rather be with my family on Christmas, but I don't make the schedule, and I'm looking forward to playing the Lakers."

Bill Belichick should tutor stupid, spoiled athletes like LeBron. Teach them important phrases like "it is what it is," and "we need to play better and coach better," and "they have a pretty good team over there."

So fuck you, LeBron. I hope the Grinch rapes you.



-The Commodore

Cavs Going After Heat For Tampering

Lebron heads to Cleveland today, and if that wasn't enough there are reports coming out that the Cavs are going after the Heat for tampering. Kind of poor timing with Lebron back tonight, and things being so tense. Almost everyone will be watching tonight just to see if Lebron get murdered, and I'm not even joking about that.

"Yahoo! Sports reported on Wednesday that Gilbert has paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to a Midwestern law firm to investigate suspicions that the Heat broke NBA tampering rules while pursuing James, who left the Cavs after seven seasons to join fellow stars Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade in Miami.

League sources told ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard that members of the Cavs' front office tried to convince Gilbert not to pursue tampering charges, but Gilbert is so incensed by James' decision that he believes it's worth it even if a draft pick is the only reward (ESPN)."

I really dislike Lebron, but I do think it might be best for the Cavs to just let this go. Then again, if they can find something they might be able to at least land a pick for it from the Heat. Plus, isn't it just funny to keep watching people rip Lebron? I sure enjoy it.

What Should Cleveland Do When LeBron Returns

There will obviously be a lot of hub bub surrounding Queen Blames return to Cleveland after they bent him over in the summer.

Here are the thing I wish happens to him:
1. Delonte West Banged Your Mom chants
2. Nancy Kerrigan like "accident"
3. Beer thrown at him
4. Team Bus gets set on fire.
5. Pearl Harbor like attack to Quicken Loans Arena
6. He has a career ending groin injury
7. Death
8. No one goes to the game and he plays in an empty stadium
9. On court fight when Mo Williams clotheslines him
10. He poops himself

Spoelstra On His Way Out

We all knew it was coming, but now there are "named sources" from the Heat that say that the players aren't buying into Spoelstra coaching style...

"He's jumping on them," one source said. "If anything, he's been too tough on them. Everybody knows LeBron is playful and likes to joke around, but Spoelstra told him in front of the whole team that he has to get more serious. The players couldn't believe it. They feel like Spoelstra's not letting them be themselves (ESPN)."

Sounds like Lebron is being a bitch again. So basically this "source" is saying they aren't winning because they are too serious. Really? Is that really the best excuse you can make. The problem is that you don't have a consistent out side shooter, a tough inside man, or a point guard. Plus you signed 2 players who are so similar that it will be tough to get them to work together.

Now there is video of Lebron "bumping" Spoelstra...

This is becoming a big story on the web, but I don't think it is that big of a deal. Then again with all these "unnamed sources" coming out maybe Lebron was trying to be a tough guy. Either way, even if they make a coaching change it is not going to fix there personnel problems. At this point they might just have to do to keep LeFag happy.

What Should Beadle Do?

Fucking hilarious, and I'm in love with her (Michelle Beadle). Say what you want, but SportsNation is becoming one of my favorite shows.

LeBron Can't Move Past "The Decision"

DP reported the other day that LeBron had reposted all the hateful tweets he had received. Well, it seems LeBron still is not able to move on, as he is still making statements about fans' opinion of him...

"If I was a fan and I was on the outside looking in, I could be upset a little bit if one of my favorite players left," James said. "Or if I felt like he betrayed us or whatever the case may be. But you have to get over it."

James later tweeted that he was not speaking specifically to Cavaliers' fans: "Let's clear this up! I never said to the Cavs fans to 'get over it.' I've never and will never say anything bad about them. 7 years of joy!"

That is why he says he can understand to the backlash he's received. But he is not about to apologize for it.

"Sports are very emotional and fans are very emotional," James said. "At times they really believe you may be related to them you and you sleep in their house. When you do something wrong and you leave their house they can become very emotional. I've understood that over the years. But at the same time, you have to understand you have to do what is best yourself."

It really seems that LeBron can't handle all these people being mad at him, and is doing everything he can to get some sympathy, but the funny thing is he is never going to get it, and he doesn't deserve it. He made this mess for himself. If he wanted to be a fan favorite then he should've stayed in the small market Cleveland area and won them a Championship, but instead he went for the lights and glamour of Miami. Right or wrong, you can't expect to have everything LeBron, and you are the one that really needs to get over it.

LeBron Is Such Muff Cabbage

LeBron James retwitted "hateful" tweets some of his critics sent to him this offseason, to prove....... I don't know really why.

What this means to me is that he can't handle negative press and this is his way again to pass the buck on his actions with "The Decision" and other jerk things he has done.

Many athletes; I would even go as far as saying all athletes have people who say hurtful things directed towards them, but do nothing because they understand this is what happens when you sign a professional contract. They knowingly put themselves in the spotlight for better or worse. But not one athlete comes to mind to do something like this over the internet.

Kobe Bryant, Brett Favre and even Alex Rodriguez don't pull this shit ever. And that's because they know what they got themselves into. LeBron on the other hand can't handle the pressure of negative press and that even shows when he plays on the court. (See last years Celtics series)

And now comes the race part: A tweet that he retweeted was "a big nosed big lipped bug eyed (racial slur). Ur greedy, u try to hide ur ghettoness." Which is a resounding no no. Of course some people used the LeBron negativity after "The Decision" to stand on a soapbox and be a racist and this tweet is going to be amplified and talked on sportscenter and every media outlet, but that's one of 15,000. And having that one tweet is unacceptable and not only should this person who wrote this be kicked and banned from twitter but potentially be charged with a hate crime. But what is getting lost from the LeBron retweets is how he can't handle negative press and pressure.

Thank god this team has Dwayne Wade so he can take the last second shot over LeChoke. Because Wade isn't phased by pressure and is willing to take the negative publicity on his shoulders.

My Take On The LeBron Thing

Since I'm not a racist bigot like BMack, I will rationally talk about this LeBron race non-issue without just blaming black people for everything.

LeBron recently that the reaction to hating him for "The Decision" was racial motivated. Stating:

In the interview, CNN correspondent Soledad O'Brien asked about "The Decision," the one-hour special on ESPN in which James announced that he would play for the Heat, and some of the negative headlines it generated.

"It's just about control and not doing it the way it's always been done or not looking the way that it always looks," Carter said.

O'Brien asked if race played a role.

"I think so at times," James said. "It's always, you know, a race factor."

Said Carter: "It definitely played a role in some of the stuff coming out of the media, things that were written for sure."

If LeBron wants to point fingers at anyone he should look at himself in the mirror. The way that he went about "The Decision" by making it a big self aggrandizing event turned many people off of LeBron and hurt his Public image more than race image. It was an awful idea and the fact that he and his agent thought it was appropriate was even more of a reason to realize this guy was an ego maniac. He basically wiped his ass with Cleveland and did it in the most disrespectful fashion as possible. It's easy to make every negative event surrounding black people a race issue, but if that's the case I want LeBron to explain this picture:

Many people have left their teams in search for selling themselves and making themselves a business which becoming a free agent gives you that right. Look at our very own Shaquille O'Neal who ditched Orlando for LA, the LA for Miami, and Miami for Phoenix and so on and so on. In any of those moves you never heard anyone bashing the big fella and that is because he never held "The Decision" and the same could be said with Deion Sanders, Karl Malone, Oscar Robinson, etc. And not once have we heard backlash as much as LeBron.

The truth is LeBron isn't Muhammed Ali or Jim Brown, he is an ego maniac that found a clever way to play the race card in his favor. And all your Michael Wilbons and J.A. Andande's who bashed LeBron 2 months ago for holding "The Decision" have now changed their tune and enabling racial bigotry.

LeBron's backlash has nothing to do with race, it all boils down to a bad "decision".

LeBron: Race Factored In Backlash

"According to the Akron Beacon-Journal, former Cavalier LeBron James and his good friend and business partner, Maverick Carter, were interviewed for a show on CNN and talked about "The Decision." James took a lot of heat for the way he made the announcement and both say race played a factor in the backlash.

"I think so at times," James said. "It's always, you know, a race factor."

"It definitely played a role in some of the stuff coming out of the media, things that were written. For sure," said Carter (ESPN)."

Yea, it had to be race. It couldn't have been that everyone just saw you as an arrogant jerk who only cares about himself, right? Fuck you Lebron, I can't wait for you to choke again.

It's OK You Can Hate Lebron

A couple days ago I stayed home from work sick, which basically means I watched ESPN for 8 straight hours. Sportscenter, First Take (Cold Pizza was a much better name), Mike and Mike, and so on. Anyways, they kept talking about how black people are coming to the defense of Lebron. At first I didn't think much of it, but 8 hours later I started to get really annoyed. Why does he need to be defended just because he's black? We rip of Favre nonstop. We admitted last year that he was awesome, but we still hate him...everyone does. And everyone should have the right to hate LeBron too. He is a great player, but he is also a douche, and if we have learned anything from sports over the past couple years it is easy to be both.

So guest after guest just saying that people think he is getting unfair criticism. I really can't understand it. What really pissed me off is that not one person would stand up and say "but he was acting like a douche, and this is usually happens if you do douchey things. I mean the guy went on live TV made an ass out of an entire city, looked like an ego maniac, turned his back on some of his closest friends (Mo Williams, who still doesn't seem to be over it), all in the name of Lebron. I'm sorry, but if you do that you're an asshole, regardless of color. I don't mind that he went to Miami, just the manner in which he did it.

I am sure there are some people that hate LeBron because he is black, but they would've hated him regardless then. The people who are angry with him now aren't angry because of what color his skin is, but rather the manner in which he holds himself. He has no one to blame but himself. So, really take it easy, the guy deserves it, and I'm glad his Q rating is falling. The NBA needed a villain, and now they have two with Kobe and LeBron. Villains = intriguing story lines, which is a good thing. So have fun hating him, and leave the race card at home.

Why Not?

Why not watch Wade doing what Lebron taught him to do to little kids? The only difference is Lebron touches them after.