White Men Can Jump

So long as their Australian.

And if you've never seen a game of Aussie Rules Football, you're missing out. Just look at that score. This was a 140-77 game. You won't know what's going on when you watch it, but that just makes it all the more entertaining. It's a great sport to watch while getting hammered.

-The Commodore

How Fucking Crazy Can One Person Be?

There are a lot of crazy people in this world, but this woman might take the cake.

Her name is Vicki Lowing and she is from Australia. She is a nurse and has a 16 year old boy, yet there is something kinda odd about her. She has crocodiles as pets. Not just as pets, but they are free to roam around the house, even in her child's room.

Pretty crazy right??? Well, it gets better. Apparently her pets have the ability to telepathically connect with her.

'I'm convinced crocs are psychic,' said Vicki, stating a belief that is often put forward in Australia.

'They don't look like they do much but there's a lot going on behind those eyes. 'Johnie is definitely psychic. The way she looks at me sometimes, I know she's trying to tell me things. 'She has definitely communicated with me telepathically. It usually happens when she feels a bit crook and she wants me to know she needs some extra TLC. 'I get a shiver like I've seen a ghost and I know she's trying to get through to me."

Wow, take a second and digest that.

There are so many things wrong with this story that I don't even feel like I can cover them all. First off, how the fuck is this woman a nurse? I mean come on Australia there has to be better better more qualified/stable for this job. This is a woman that lets crocodiles sleep with her kid. You can't get much more wrong with that. On top of that she "telepathically connects" with the crocodiles, which is just a nice way of saying she hears voices, and in my limited knowledge on the subject, that is never a good thing.

Please put this woman away, or at the very least take away her kid. It just isn't right, but god damn would this be a great reality show.

Man Tasered Bursts Into Flames

"Western Australia police said they were responding to a complaint at a house when Mitchell ran outside the house carrying a cigarette lighter and a large plastic bottle containing what they believe was fuel. When he refused to stop running toward them, one officer Tasered him, police said in a media release. The man was immediately engulfed in flames. The officer threw him to the ground and smothered the blaze with his hands, the statement said. Mitchell was charged with assault to prevent arrest and possession of a sniffing substance (FoxNews)."

I am not going to defend a guy who is running around sniffing gasoline, but how dumb is this cop? Ok, a guy is running around with a container of gasoline, so what do you do? Well of course you go to your trusty taser. I mean an electrical charge as never started a fire before right? Ugh....This really goes back to why cops are in love with taser guns. I think it really lets them shoot whoever. Not that this guy didn't deserve it, but they probably could have taken him down with physical force rather then shoot him with a taser and then get serious burns on your hands trying to save this dumbass. Anyways......hilarious.