Brett Favre Croc Cock Shots Coming Tomorrow

So those Brett Favre cock shots discussed on Deadspin back in August will be released tomorrow, in the event you were still curious. I was. Jen Sterger finally agreed to the terms of their release. Excellent timing with the Moss to Minnesota move, The Vikings visiting the Jets on MNF this week, and well, when is it not great timing to see athlete cock? I say never.

I guess its small and stubbly, but not grey.

Will ESPN fianlly have to acknowledge the story? And will all those other blogs and papers that slammed AJ and Deadspin have to come correct and own up with apologies? Should be a fun day, how will we sleep tonight?

Since When Has Rondo Been So Hated?

The fiery young point guard has really developed a lot of enemies this postseason. To the point this faggy website made a list of top ten ways to injure Rondo. Click Here to check it out. Although, my thoughts on this list piss me off, I'm glad stoning and upside down crucifixion made the list. Either way, ladies and gentlemen, Rajon has made it.

Somebody's Gotta a Hard On for KG

It has been argued that Kevin Garnett's impact on this team is still being felt despite his inability to play a single minute in the first round series with the Bulls. He has been on the sideline for most of the games and appears to be highly involved in the game - be it encouraging his own guys or cussing up a storm to any Bull with in ear shot.

On top of that, there is no way this Celtic team wins game 5 with the guys they had on the floor had KG not been coaching them up the past two seasons. It just would not happen. That being said, it is impossible to not feel for the guy in a situation like this...unless you are a writer for Chicago area sports blogs.

From Eamonn Brennan

Anyone who's watched even a few minutes of the Bulls series these last few days has seen an injured, besuited Garnett. He gets more TV time than Doc Rivers, it seems. Every time the camera flashes to Garnett, sitting on the sideline because he's too hurt to play, Garnett is doing one of two things. He's either a) sticking his chin out in a defiant mean-mug that at this point just looks stupid, especially from SOMEONE SITTING ON THE BENCH IN A SUIT, or b) raining down a host of obscenities, usually at Bulls players.

Which, to a point, is fine. If that's how Garnett needs to re-emasculate himself, to make up for the fact that his body his breaking down and he can't get on the court this year, fine. But last night was worse than usual. Last night crossed a line. After Brad Miller missed the first of two potentially game-tying overtime free throws, Garnett took time out of his busy injured schedule to yell "choke" at Brad Miller. Classy, man. (And this is coming from us, someone you'll rarely ever see complain about "class" in sports.) There's also this photo of a snarling Garnett getting in Ben Gordon's face, the same Ben Gordon who played through his injury last night while Garnett threw on Armani and did his cheerleading from the sidelines.

Garnett's Adidas campaign slogan is, get this, "Basketball is a Brotherhood." If our brother acted like such a raging, overcompensating, confused and classless d-bag, we'd have disowned him long ago.

Safe to assume Eamonn would not have many admirers in the fine city of Boston.

Telling It Like It Is

Chris Cooley's blog is the balls. He is, by far, the coolest athlete blogger out there. His most recent post is a perfect example why. Here is a cut (but do yourself a favor and read the whole thing):

$500,000 to work out between the months of March and June - just to work out. Then an upcoming salary of $9,000,000 - for one season of play. One season! You would really have to hate to be somewhere to turn down ten million dollars for the next ten months of work. I mean, I know Miami is pretty nice, but just go ahead and make that much money while you still can and then retire anywhere you want. Hell, I would go play in Russia for 10,000,000. I would pack my bags and fly out tomorrow, "Ill see ya in February."
....
For JT to reach his 75 percent requirement of the deal would have had to be hear for 39 days. Had he arrived and worked for the 39 days he would have been compensated $12,820 per day. That is unreal to me! Most people pay their own money to go to the gym, but almost 13 thousand dollars a day is a pretty good membership in the other direction. Again, I will not judge this decision and I have no idea what his bank account could possibly be, but that's a shit ton of money. As for my end of the off season, I will be required to make 42 days to reach my bonus. I again would receive a check grossing $100,000. This would pay me $2300 per workout. Still pretty awesome and enough to get me into the gym.

I Agree With Lil Wayne

Here is a quote from Lil Wayne's recent blog,
"I don't think the Pacman Jones situation is sad at all. I do not think Pacman Jones should be in the NFL. If I was the commissioner, I'd kick him out. They keep giving him chances and he keeps messing up. You got guys like Hines Ward out there getting fined for making plays on the field on one hand, and then on the other hand you got guys in situations where people are getting shot. Come on. You have to be smart about the company you keep. I should know. But sometimes it's not just friends—it's family members who are into bad stuff who bring you down. And how can you get rid of family? You can't. That's why I think, in his situation, there is no way he's turning it around. I mean, come on. He's a grown man. They don't give these huge contracts to kids. His main job is to stay out of trouble and he can't do that, so I'd kick him out of the league."

God dammit. Why couldn't he just say he agrees with Pacman and he should be allowed in the league. Fuck you for having something that I agree with.

My Rival Is Back On ESPN

I already have told everyone my opinion on the constipated rapper known as Lil Wayne, well I guess ESPN invited him back on board and he's blogging again.

Here are some good moments:
"The Knicks have been something else, man. You got Marbury and Eddy Curry not even part of the system? Damn. I hit Eddy up on the two-way last night asking what's up and he hasn't responded yet so we'll see."

He probably won't respond to you because he is too busy eating.

"Greg Oden is a bust. He's gotta show me something, man. I don't get it. At what point in time was he dominant? I've never seen it. You've never seen it. Maybe NBA officials know something we don't. That's all I can figure. Maybe somebody on that staff has seen something we haven't. But until he shows me something, I'm gonna declare him a bust. Damn shame, too."

It is his rookie season and he has played in only a couple of games. He had his first 20-10 game the other day. You are a disgrace to the United States, and you really shouldn't be allowed to say your opinion about anything other than dropping it like it's hot.

And about KG's trash talk,
“Back when I had those courtside seats I would hear everything those guys ever said, and KG was by far the best trash talker. That dude was creative. Even though he was on a terrible team in Minnesota all those years, he came in and was talking every night, intimidating people. He could get away with it because even though his team would usually lose, everyone knew KG’s game was at a different level. Most people would back down because it was KG. But then once in a while you’d have a guy who’d go back at him. I remember one game he got into it with Kareem Rush and he didn’t back down.”

I know there is a lot more feel free to send us more.

Guess Who's Back

That's right. The myth, the man, the legend has returned to the sports scene in the City of Champions. Will Leitch will be writing a new column every other week for WEEI.com. His first dropped on Monday and it was a scintillating read, as always. Here's a taste -

My search for urbane, cultured, logical sports fans – the way we Cardinals fans like to portray ourselves when we’re not sporting mullets – ultimately led me to Boston. Boston sports seem to have so much drama … even when your teams are winning. (Like, uh, now.) Even the silly dramas, like Manny, have something Shakespearean about them. They even have permanence; Boston sports fandom is steeped in lore, in tradition, in something lasting. In a way, you’re kind of Midwestern. With the volume turned up a bit, anyway. But this is just a theory. I am not a Bostonian, and I never will be. But there’s no more fascinating sports city in America, and sometimes I wonder how easy it is to tell that when you’re so far on the inside.

The goal of this column is to look at Boston sports through an outsider’s point of view, in a hopefully amusing, enlightening way. Or we’ll at least have some genitalia jokes. Listen: I have no idea how this is going to work, and I’m pretty certain I’m going to write something extremely ignorant and unaware, likely in every column. I promise that if I make a single chowdah joke I will give you my home address, and you will be formally invited to come over and beat me to a bloody pulp. But let’s get ‘er started here. We’re a couple weeks from the best two months of the sports season, and Boston will be right in the middle of it. As always.

As a complete sidestep away from sucking Leitch off, I must say, what WEEI is doing for the online site is nothing short of amazing. In less than two months, they have stolen away major talent from the Globe and the Herald along with lining up some of the best writers these interwebs have ever seen. The new site went live yesterday and it promises to only get better with time.

Clay Travis Off to a Hot Start. No Homo

Look, I was as sad as the next guy over the retirement of Will Leitch. I was also afraid of what would happen to the most well written blog on the planet. I'm starting to feel a little better on both accounts now that I've sampled a little of the next generation.

Clay Travis penned an absolute gem today regarding the side of an NFL locker room we rarely get to see. Any story that humanizes those that we worship is a plus in my book and the revelation that "No Homo" is the joke of choice in the NFL really made my day.

Writes Travis -

Professional sports locker rooms are one of the last bastions for gay humor. That’s because there’s never been any gay athletes. So, you see, the very idea of anyone being gay is always funny. Which brings me to the first big scoop of my illustrious Deadspin career: The phrase “No Homo” has taken over NFL locker rooms.

It’s everywhere, on every single team, the NFL equivalent of the late 90's Macarena dance. No Homo owes its popularity to the remarkably varied and infinitely complicated nature of its use. Or the opposite. One or the other. It’s applied thusly:

LenDale White says to Vince Young: “Vince, you’ve got great nips. No homo.”

Brilliant.

I have a buddy that has been using this phrase religiously over the past year or two. While I have always gotten a light chuckle out of its use, it never became standard verbiage amongst any social circle I belong to. You can bet that is going to change now that I know Donovan McNabb uses these exact words every time he accidentally grazes Brian Westbrook's ass.

NFL Joke of Choice - Deadspin

We Thank You

From the bottom of our hearts.

A million blogs have logged a million posts with regards to one William F Leitch. Make this 1,000,001. You are a genius, a visionary and a leader. Enough words there are not to describe the love we share for you (in the most hetero way possible…of course).

On behalf of every jerk off hack like ourselves, there is a debt of gratitude that will never be repaid. You paved a road that never deserved tar and you blazed a trail that never deserved the effort. Yet, as we look back it all seems to make so much sense.

Sports news without access, favor or discretion. Why didn’t we think of that. So obvious, so simple, so perfect.

Before tarnishing a legacy with more incoherent rambling, let’s just end it with some words of your own. As has been the case so many times, we could not have said it better ourselves.

That's all we wanted Deadspin to be all along; a place where people could slip away from their life for a while, dig in, have some fun, then head back to the regular life, where bills must be paid, family must be attended to, jobs must be (slightly) acknowledged. You know: Kind of like sports themselves. Life is difficult. Life is scary. Diversions — real, palpable diversions, places where you can go away and frolic, and then return to the world the way you found it, for better or worse — are rare, and should be cherished. That's what sports are. That's what we hope this site has been. That's what we're certain it will continue to be.

Good night and good luck.