Why Not?

Why not find out the difference between weed and alcohol?

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"Don't Do Crack. Drink Chocolate Milk."

I know everyone is writing the Charlie Sheen stories lately, but this one is just too good not to write about. Charlie Sheen recently called the Dan Patrick show on ESPN radio, and well he had a couple of interesting things to say...

"Charlie Sheen said that sobriety "bores" him and that he may revert to substance abuse. In a call to DirecTV/Fox Sports Radio's "The Dan Patrick Show," Sheen said "I was sober for five years a long time ago and was just bored out of my tree," he said during the rambling 28-minute phone interview with "It's inauthentic -- it's not who I am. I didn't drink for 12 years and, man, that first one [drink], Dan. Wow."

The star of "Two and a Half Men" laughed off the ethics clause in his TV contract.

"Yeah, blah, blah, nitpick, nitpick," he said. "I haven't read it, but I don't think it covers 'Let us totally dominate and interfere with your personal life.'"

Sheen also said he was ready to work after less than two weeks of rehab. "Check it. It's like, I heal really quickly. But I unravel pretty quickly. So get me right now, guys," he said, referring to the show's producers (FoxNews)."

Wow.

I am not sure I have ever heard a celebrity of Sheen's stature come out and basically just admit that he loves being a drunk/crackhead. But what really makes this story special is that Sheen was asked to talk about drugs to UCLA's baseball team. All he said about it was "Don't do crack. Drink chocolate milk." Sorry, but that is just about the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life.

So what's his thoughts on crack?

"I said stay off the crack, and I still think that's pretty good advice, unless you can manage it socially. If you can manage it socially, then go for it, but not a lot of people can, you know?"

Yea, I 'm not sure if I have ever heard of anyone handling crack well and being social, but this is Charlie Sheen and he lives by his own rules.

I'll set the over/under till his death at 3 years. What you got?

Four Loco = No Joko

So our buddy Scott (aka Beerman) comes home yesterday with 2 cases of Four Loco. I like to think I can hold my alcohol pretty well, but this shit really messes you up. The best way I can describe it is when you drink it you feel like you're 18 again, only to wake up and start looking for your AARP card.

It really isn't the booze in that really messes you up, it's the massive amount of caffeine/sugar that is in it. From the second you take the first sip you feel it tough to stay in one room. It's basically cocaine in a can plus alcohol.

So just a heads up for anyone out there thinking this is a good way to start a night. I have to caution you that when the caffeine wears off you are going to crash harder then you have ever crashed in your life.

You've been warned.

As If We Needed Another Reason To Drink

Research, published in the journal Rheumatology, found that arthritis sufferers who drink alcohol regularly are less susceptible to severe symptoms of the debilitating disease. The study also found that teetotalers were four times more likely to develop rheumatoid arthritis than people who drank alcohol on more than ten days a month.

Dr Maxwell said: “X-rays showed there was less damage to joints, blood tests showed lower levels of inflammation, and there was less joint pain, swelling and disability (news.com.au).

Well there you have it, keep knocking back those beers, because in the long run it'll only help you. Seriously though, doesn't it make sense? You drink, and suddenly your arthritis goes away. I will actually go one step further.

Got a bad back? Drink.
Headache? Drink.
DP makes bold claims about JaMarcus Russell making the Pro Bowl? Drink.
JD Drew says the word hamstring? Drink.

Well, This Guy Failed ...

Whiskey Prevents Swine Flu

"Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whiskey on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB) said Monday. "We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whiskey as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters. "That should cure all symptoms of the disease (FoxNews)."

What??? That's all it takes? Well, I guess that gives me one less thing to worry about...

Though all these fans pounding whiskey will probably end up causing more deaths then the Swine Flu ever would have...

Joakim Noah Celebrating First Round Defeat

Meh, I'd probably do this too ...

WTF?! Alcoholic Monkeys.

This is awesome ...

In the Caribbean, Vervet Monkeys have developed a taste for alcohol and can regularly be spotted stealing cocktails from humans on the beach. Brilliant wildlife video from BBC animal show 'Weird Nature'.

WTF?!