Guess Krstic Is Not Coming Back

Nenad Krstic has signed a two-year contract with Russian power CSKA Moscow. Krstic played in Russia between NBA stops in New Jersey and Oklahoma City, but this is still shocking. The Celtics were said to have interest in bringing him back, and to be honest I was kind of a fan of that. Furthermore I would think there would be at least a handful of team that would've been interested in Krstic. Russia must have just been offering a lot more money, or maybe he could've been worried about the (what seems to be the inevitable) lockout.

With Krstic gone the Celtics have lost Shaq, most likely Baby, and Krstic making me think even more that they are going to need to go out and find more big men either through the draft or free agency.

Goodbye Krstic, I will miss you and your awkward combover.

Why Not?

Why not find out that old people in Russia are still badass?

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Olympic Hockey Roundup: Day 3

We're finally getting some exciting games...

USA 6, NORWAY 1

Don't let the final score fool you. The US didn't dominate this game. At least not as much as they should. You might think Norway is great at hockey, but they're not. One of their players is a carpenter. Yet this was a 3-1 game going into the 3rd.

Phil Kessel had a goal and an assist, as did Ryan Malone. Brian Raflaski had a pair of junktime goals in the last 3 minutes of the 3rd. Ryan Miller only had to stop 10 of the 11 shots he faced, but he did have an assist.

CANADA 3, SWITZERLAND 2 (SO)

Canada should not need a shootout to beat Switzerland. The Swiss have 2 NHL players. Goalie Jonas Hiller and defenseman Mark Streit. That's it. Nevertheless, they stymied an All-Star team from Canada, and stole a point from the tournament favorites.

The Swiss have been the surprise of the tournament, thus far. They only lost 3-1 to the US, and they forced Canada into a shootout in their second game. They should beat Norway to round out their group play. And their sound defensive play could pose a problem to future contenders.

In the round-robin stage, teams are given 3 points for regulation wins, 2 points for OT wins, and 1 point for OT losses. So Canada only having 5 points is a major surprise. And Switzerland could finish the stage with 4 points, which is a significant achievement for a country that didn't even qualify for The Games 12 years ago.

SLOVAKIA 2, RUSSIA 1 (SO)

What a great game. Once again, the best matchup of the night started at 12:30 AM Eastern Time, so many people missed this contest. Zdeno Chara and Alex Ovechkin battled all night long, and it was more physical than when the Caps play the Bruins. Alexei Morozov scored for the Russians in the 2nd, Marian Hossa scored for the Slovakians with about 10 minutes to go in the 3rd. The shootout went 7 rounds before Pavol Demitra beat Bryzgalov.

This was a huge win for the Slovakians, who had lost 3-1 to the Czech Republic the night before. Group B is now totally up for grabs.

Today's games:
3pm on MSNBC: Sweden vs. Belarus
8pm on CNBC: Czech Republic vs. Latvia
12am on MSNBC: Finland vs. Germany

-The Commodore

Olympic Hockey Roundup: Day 1

Some expected results yesterday, as three giants crushed three underdogs. I have to say that I miss the wider European ice surface typically seen in Olympic games. I don't know why, after spending billions to ready their city, Vancouver couldn't temporarily remove two or three rows of seats to make for a wider ice surface in the Canucks' rink.

U.S.A. 3, SWITZERLAND 1

I gave the Swiss a chance in this one, as the US players are either too inexperienced, or too old, with very few falling optimally in between. The Swiss also have Jonas Hiller, who helped propel the Ducks past the Sharks in last year's playoffs.

But the US's depth and talent was apparent in the 2nd period. The Swiss were in a defensive trapping style, which frustrated the Americans' attack (especially on NHL width ice, ironically giving an advantage to a European team). The Swiss had some nice chances, but lacked the skillset to properly aim the puck. They looked like a bunch of Michael Ryders, in other words.

The US will advance to the Elimination Round, but not much farther. They're simply not good enough to score or to prevent talented teams from scoring on them.

CANADA 8, NORWAY 0

The only surprise here is that the game was 0-0 after the 1st period. Jarome Iginla scored a hat-trick, and Dany Heatley scored twice. Crosby had 3 assists, and the Bruins' Patrice Bergeron had an assist.

What I noticed most came after the game. While the Canadian fans celebrated a bit too much (Norway has 0 NHLers and hasn't even qualified for the Olympics since 1994), the Canadian players calmly and cooly congratulated each other. It was as if they were already past this 8-0 win and preparing for their meeting with Switzerland on Thursday. Pretty remarkable considering for 75% of the team, this is their first Olympics.

This is a team deadset on a mission.

RUSSIA 8, LATVIA 2

Ovechkin scored twice, as did KHLer Danis Zaripov. Kovalchuk had a goal and an assist, as did Malkin. This team is loaded with talent, perhaps a bit moreso than the Canadians. They too are on a mission. Canada may be the favorite on home ice, but Russia is the #1 ranked team in the world (IIHF), and hasn't won Gold since they were the "Unified Team" (just after breakup of the USSR) in '92. If Canada is hungry for Gold, Russia is starving for it.

Today's games:
3pm on MSNBC: Finland vs. Belarus
8pm on CNBC: Sweden vs. Germany
12:30am on CNBC: Czech Republic vs. Slovakia

-The Commodore

Capitals 4, Bruins 1

I went to this game last night. And I wore my Vladislav Tretiak jersey. Tretiak was a revolutionary goalie who won 3 gold medals for the USSR in '72, '76 and '84. Why does Evgeni Nabokov wear the #20? Because Vladislav Tretiak wore it fist. Tretiak was awarded the Order of Lenin, which was a big deal in the USSR. He's also the first player inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame to have never played a North American game.



So I wore this jersey because USSR=anti-capitalism=anti-Capitals=fuck Ovechkin. Get it? Kind of a nerdy joke. Plus it's one of my favorite jerseys ever. And I wore a Bruins shirt underneath it, along with a Bruins scarf, and my Zdeno Chara bobblehead pin.

The Bruins played an inspirational 2/3 of a game. Jose Theodore was "on" and by that I mean he stuck his glove and his stick in random, disjointed locations, and the puck just so happened to find it. I'll never respect Jose Theodore, he's a primitive and savage netminder, and if the Bruins were more sophisticated shooters, they would've been able to take advantage. Or if they'd been able to insist enough of a presence in the crease.

It's closing time for the Ryder-Krejci-Wheeler line. Sobotka and Bitz were healthy scratches tonight. I'd much rather see them out there as opposed to Wheeler and Ryder. Krejci can fall in line with other players, maybe skate with Recchi and Satan. But Wheeler's ineptitude and Ryder's unwillingness have become more than just annoying. It's detrimental. These two clowns sabotage the Bruins' offense.

Wheeler, because of his size and the fact that he tries, could maintain himself on a 4th line with guys like Sobotka and Begin. Focus more on solid defense, being physical, instead of trying to be Wayne Gretzky.

But there are some good signs becoming apparent. Krejci finally scored, albeit seemingly by mistake. And the team's playing with more energy and life.

Bruins host the Canadiens Thursday.

Back to my Tretiak jersey, some guy on the Orange Line gave me shit for wearing the color red. As if he were a Crip or something.



I asked him if he had a problem with me, then aggressiveness ensued. By the time I changed trains at Downtown Crossing, 5 people were throwing haymakers over nothing. Utter insanity, all because I chose to wear my Tretiak jersey.

-The Commodore

Russian Guy Thrown by Garbage Explosion

Russian Guy Thrown by Garbage Explosion - Watch more Funny Videos

Tough Bottle To Break

Man this looks like it hurts. Crazy Russians...

Whiskey Prevents Swine Flu

"Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whiskey on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB) said Monday. "We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whiskey as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters. "That should cure all symptoms of the disease (FoxNews)."

What??? That's all it takes? Well, I guess that gives me one less thing to worry about...

Though all these fans pounding whiskey will probably end up causing more deaths then the Swine Flu ever would have...

Don't Feed Your Kids Ethanol

"A baby in Russia's Far East died from his drunken mother's breastmilk after she downed half a litre of ethanol before feeding him, the region's investigations committee said after sentencing the woman this week.

Yelena Sinitsyna was handed a one-year suspended sentence and a three-year probation period on Wednesday for death by negligence of her four-month-old son in the small town of Sretensk, near China and six hours east of Moscow.

"On 3 April between 2 and 3 p. m., she drank half a litre of spirit alcohol.

"In her drunken state she then breastfed her son," the committee reported on its website, www.zabsledkom. chita. ru.

"The immediate cause of the child's death, according to a forensic examination of the corpse, was acute ethanol poisoning."

Sinitsyna was given a relatively light sentence as she must care for her surviving toddler, the committee's report added.

Eighty per cent of crimes committed in Russia are connected to alcohol consumption, the Interior Ministry there said on Friday, citing a report it says it will publish soon."

Man, feeding your kids poop is one thing lol, but Russians are nuts. Russians alcohol consumption is off the charts compared to other countries, and apparently the life expectancy is pretty low as a result. You would think the Mother would get a heavier sentence, but the judge was probably tanked himself.

Russia Is Out Of Control

No, I am not talking about the Georgia thing...More importantly Russia is trying to ban South Park! I thought that Russia was going to come around and be a normal country, but now they are turning into another crazy country. The Russian government is trying to ban South Park, because it "bore signs of extremist activity (FoxNews)." This was after an episode when Jesus and Santa Claus do a duet. The episode also has Satan, Hitler, and Mr. Hankey (episode is called "Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics"). Get a life Russia, South Park is awesome and one of the funniest show ever. Maybe if you give South Park a chance you might forget that how fucking cold it is... for a half hour anyways.

One of the better moments:

-BMack