LEBRON IS A BITCH WE KNOW...BUT REALLY?

I've been wait for a moment of silence to write this article. Lebron really dodged a bullet here somehow and he's lucky...but I can't let this pass. If someones being a bitch, gotta make him honest and call him out.

"At small forward, from St. Vincent St. Mary's High School, number 6 Lebron James."

This piece of shit doesn't come out.

In case you have no idea what I'm talking about. Last week when Miami made a visit to Cleveland, during the player intros Lebron didn't come out when he was called. He didn't show up until it was time for tip off.

Okay Lebron..."Where were you?" asked an ESPN analyst.

"I was in the bathroom, am I aloud to do that?" He said while looking away from the camera.

First of all, I can honestly say this. I played poker for a living for 3 years of my life. I routed Casinos to find the best games every single night to make my living. I retired making 86 dollars an hour. I did 48 hour sessions. You do the math. Sorry for the tangent, and I promise I'm not rubbing this in to anyone who longs for that lifestyle. I'm just pointing that I was very very successful. So take my word for it as a 76 percent winner every time I sit at the poker table.

LEBRON IS A FUCKING LIAR.

I was in the bathroom. Like, couldn't he think of another excuse? He knew he'd be asked. I'm sure his coach and "team lebron" (notice the no caps lebron lost his privilege to capitalize his name) had a meeting and talked about this. I retired from poker to become a filmmaker and more notably a film script writer. So transitioning from one career to another, here's what the conversation probably went.

lebron: Coach can I talk to you for a second

Erik: Sure LB, whats up

lebron: it's kinda private, can we talk in your office

Erik: Sure come this way.

Erik and Lebron walk to his office and enter. lebron closes the door behind him.

Erik: Whats up?

lebron: well tonights game got me a little nervous.

Erik: Oh don't be nervous, just play our game and we'll be fine.

lebron: No, not that, the introductions. There gonna boo me. Boo me loud. Someone might throw something. Me and my advisor team feel I should skip player intros.

Erik: Oh Lebron, I'm not sure if thats a good idea. Your gonna have to answer for that.

lebron: I don't wanna get my feelings hurt.

Erik: Really?

lebron: yeah. It might effects my game.

Erik: okay. Well what will you say to the media when they ask?

lebron: I don't know.

Erik: Well you can't exactly say you were in the bathroom.

lebron: OH MY GOD thats a great idea. Gee thanks coach this is the best idea since I decided to go on tv and tell everyone I was coming here.

Erik: Wow...maybe your right. Or it's as good as when I told the public our team was crying in the locker room.

lebron: people will believe me right?

Erik: Sure. Why wouldn't they? You gotta go you gotta go right.


Okay let me end this right now before I bored the shit out of everyone. I think he should have gotten more back lash for this than the decision. At least the decision was for charity. He was just plain scared. Thats the only explanation. I really have nothing more to say in the matter I just didn't want this to go unnoticed.

By the way. Miami got their ass kicked.