Tonight I'll be watching the Duke/Wake Forest game, the end of the California 500, then maybe some Patton on AMC, or Apocalypse Now on Cinemax. But I will not, under any circumstance, watch the fucking Oscars. I don't care if someone calls me up and tells me that Scarlett Johansson is making out with Natalie Portman in a pool of Spaghettio's. I won't change to THAT channel.
When I was in film school, the Oscars were like the Super Bowl of movies for all my fellow movie geeks. People would argue over who should win for weeks before AND after the Oscars. There'd be outrage if your favorite movie didn't win, and euphoria if it took home the statue.
I asked one of my classes, "Why the big deal? Who cares?"
My professor responded "Why do you care if the Patriots win?"
"Good question, but the Patriots win by outscoring their opponents, not by some committee deciding they're the best team."
It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. Was Titanic better than Good Will Hunting in 1997? No fucking way. Million Dollar Baby is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. And if you make a big budget musical like Chicago, you're practically guaranteed to win a statue, because 'Oscar loves a musical.'
Who decides the winners? There's less transparency than the BCS. At least with the BCS, you can see how the system is stupid. But with the Oscars, some obscure governing body votes in anonymity, and people eat it up like dogs.
Then there's the actors and actresses who whine and complain about big corporations (that actually fund the movies and give them their multi-million dollar paychecks), then wear dresses and tuxedos that cost literally thousands of dollars, just to fuel their gargantuan egos.
Hollywood celebrities patting themselves on the back for acting, directing, writing, et cetera, makes me want to vomit. These fuckos make millions, then think they know politics and economics, then bitch and moan if their trailer isn't in the right spot, then give themselves awards for being actors. They should really give awards to the marketing firms that promote these movies so they make $300 million.
It speaks volumes about our society that everyone knows who wins best actor and best actress, but nobody knows who won the Nobel Prize. Even I don't know that.
I don't care what Hollywood thinks their best movie was. I don't care which actress had the most expensive and best looking dress. I don't want to watch some interpretive dance troupe reenact The Lion King. I'd rather watch Terminator 3 on the Spanish channel. That's on at 8:30.
-The Commodore
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