Clinton Portis Makes Me Laugh

In a league with a bunch of morons gettings DUI's, beating someone up, getting beat up, fighting dogs, and doing drugs, it is good to see a football player being nuts. Introducing...... Clinton Portis and his 4 personalities.

Bud Foxx

» Occupation: Ultimate Fighter
» Win-loss record: 0 wins, 17 losses
» Weight class: 115 pounds, but he weighs 220 pounds
» Finishing move: Cracking fingers

Foxx suffered a fast defeat at the (fully intact) hands of NFL researcher George Li to keep his winless streak alive.

Dr. Do Itch Big

» Occupation: Dentist
» Fact: Does his own dental work in the mirror
» Motto: “Cleaning up the NFL one mouth at a time”

The good doctor started his bicuspid crusade by enhancing the grills of former Giants DE Michael Strahan and Bills RB Marshawn Lynch.

Electra

» Occupation: Environmentalist
» Education: Masters in Electrical Engineering from MIT
» Motto: “Off the grid is off the chain”
» Facts: Lives in a solar-powered green house and smokes a pipe

The Earth-lover's decision to step back on the grid to keep Rich Eisen caffeinated gave him a jolt from which he may not recover.

Prime Minister Yah Mon

» Occupation: Prime Minister
» Birthplace: Somewhere between Jamaica and the United States
» Fact: Running for President of the United States as an independent

Forget Obama and McCain. Come November, vote for this dreadlocked diplomat, who promises to lower gas prices by at least 40 cents. (NFL.COM)

Choo Choo


Dolemite Jenkins