1. St. Louis: Sam Bradford, QB, OU
Hahaha, told all you fuckers.
2. Detroit Lions: Ndamukong Suh , DT, Nebraska
I would love for them to take Eric Berry, but they need to take a "safe" pick in Suh.
3. Tampa Bay: Gerald McCoy , DT
Had an awful defense last year. Also would love for them to take Berry but they are going to play it safe also.
4. Washington Redskins: Russell Okung , OT
Picked up Donovan McNabb no need to overreact and make a giant mistake by taking Jimmy Clausen. Worry about protecting Donovan.
5. Kansas City: Bryan Bulaga , OT
Need to protect Matt Cassel. I would love for them to take Berry or Ronaldo McClain. But they need to build their front line up.
6. Seattle Seahawks: Trent Williams , OT
Major offensive line issues. This stops the bleeding for now.
7. Cleveland Browns: Eric Berry S
The dog pound all starts masturbating. He's the best player in the draft.
8. Oakland Raiders: Jason Pierre-Paul, DE
He's really fast off the line. And if you're fast, you're on the Raiders.
9. Buffalo Bills: Bruce Campbell , OT
Jimmy Clausen has small hands and I think this is where Tebow ends up in round 2.
10. Jacksonville Jaguars: Derrick Morgan , DE
He's going to be good. best player on the board, gotta take him.
11. Denver Broncos: Rolando McClain , ILB
Everyone believes this will be a Dez Bryant. But defense wins championships.
12. Miami Dolphins: Dan Williams , DT
This is a great pick for them and somewhat of a steal. He will be a great building block for a defense.
13. San Fransisco: Joe Haden , CB
They need another corner. Haden is the best player available.
14. Seattle Seahawks: C.J. Spiller , RB
The took an offensive lineman first, now they get the best runningback. So far Seahawks have the best draft.
15. New York Giants: Jared Odrick, DT
Huge defensive line issues, and with Osi shutting it down, they need some help.
16. Tennessee Titans: Earl Thomas , CB
Need someone across the field from Cortland Finnigan.
17. San Fransisco: Anthony Davis , OT
Need offensive line help, now that they took a CB
18. Pittsburgh Steelers: Dez Bryant, WR
Why the fuck not. Now that Ben's suspended for 4-6 they need someone to throw to.
19. Atlanta Falcons: Brandon Graham , OLB
They need some defense.
20. Houston Texans: Ryan Mathews , RB
They need some insurance with Steve Slaton being inconsistent.
21. Cincinnati Bengals: Taylor Mays , FS
Love this move. They get a safety that they desperately need.
22. New England Patriots: Jermaine Gresham, TE
They lost Wes Welker. They don't need to worry about losing offensive production with Gresham.
23. Green Bay Packers: Mike Iupati , OG
Must protect Aaron Rodgers
24. Philadelphia Eagles: Kyle Wilson , CB
Need someone to be across from Asanti Samuel.
25. Baltimore Ravens: Jerry Hughes , OLB
He will probably be the most feared player in a couple of years.
26. Arizona Cardinals: Sergio Kindle , OLB
Defense, defense, defense
27. Dallas Cowboys: Devin McCourty , CB
Have been looking for a CB for years
28. San Diego Chargers: Terrence Cody , DT
Would love for the Steelers to take him.
29. New York Jets: Everson Griffen , DE
Rex Ryan will go defense
30. Minnesota Vikings: Tim Tebow, QB
He's an asshole, Brett Favre is an asshole. Perfect match
31. Indianapolis Colts: Rodger Saffold, OT
Protect Payton
32. New Orleans Saints: Sean Weatherspoon , OLB
Perfect match.
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