This is one of the best match-ups that DuelingCouches' Versus' series has seen. Two child geniuses. Two closet homosexuals. Both slightly annoying. Both with strange accents that suggest adoption. Both utterly brilliant and capable of almost anything.
Quick bios on each combatant:
Dexter:
Height: 2' 0"
Build: Average
Age: Unknown
Strengths: Mechanical and engineering skills, book-smarts, problem solving, ingenuity
Weaknesses: Lack of size, no common sense, phobias, gullibility, his inventions often malfunction and turn on him
Allies: Older sister (occasionally)
Enemies: Some other kid named Mandark
Ambitions: Who knows, but something benevolent
Stewie Griffin:
Height: Around 2 feet, perhaps shorter
Build: Skinny
Age: 1
Strengths: Mechanical and engineering skills, weapons construction, weapons utilization, marksmanship, assassination, thermonuclear physics, quantum mechanics, psychology, mind control, manipulation
Weaknesses: Lack of size, no experience, lots of talk with little follow through
Allies: Rupert (his bear) and occasionally Bertram (his half-brother)
Enemies: Bertram (occasionally), Lois, broccoli
Ambitions: Matricide and world conquest
The obvious difference between Dexter and Stewie is that Dexter is good and Stewie is bad. Dexter doesn't seem to have a specific ambition or goal, and certainly doesn't want to kill his mother (he's kind of a mama's boy, actually) and conquer the world. Stewie, on the other hand, is quite clear with his intentions.
To me, this is a strength for Stewie. He's unrestricted by morality and the rules of goodness. He can strike first and ask questions later. Whereas Dexter can only use his brain and technical skills for self-defense. Dexter is limited, Stewie is not. Early advantage: Stewie.
Dexter is likely older than Stewie, although it is possible that he started talking with that Southeastern European accent much before most kids begin to speak. However, Stewie has more experience in the field of combat.
Stewie excels at both hand-to-hand combat, and weaponry. He's killed before. He's also been around the world to places like the Middle East, Britain, and even Nazi Germany. Middle advantage: Stewie
Now we get into something that isn't on the surface. Perhaps in a short battle, Stewie's skills and lack of morals would lead to a decisive issue. But perhaps, there's a weakness to Stewie. A self-destructive element to his personality. Does he really want all those things he claims to want?
With Stewie's arsenal of advanced weapons, how is Lois still alive? Stewie is capable of killing her, yet doesn't. In the episode that he does murder her (in a computer simulation), we see that he winds up failing. But why even set-up a simulation to see what would happen? Why not grow a pair, take a risk, and do it.
Stewie is all talk and no walk. He'll occasionally fight small battles, and kill one or two people, but for all his evil, and all his power, he'd rather go clubbing:
Dexter is not intimidating. He's easily fooled. He's a goody-two-shoes. His inventions break down. He can't even outwit his dumb sister. Yet he at least knows who he is. Stewie claims to be an evil genius, but he doesn't back that up with any action.
I think Stewie's deep confusion as to who he really is and what he really wants would be his undoing in this battle. I think he'd have an early advantage, eventually gaining an opportunity to destroy Dexter, and then he'd squander it by thinking "should I really do this?" Put in a kill-or-die situation, Dexter would capitalize on Stewie's hesitation, and dispose of him, coldly and brutally.
Winner: Dexter
-The Commodore
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